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ELEMENTS OF COMMUNICATION
I. Sender/Receiver - Who is communicating; You're always both sender and
receiver.
II. Message - What is communicated
A. Verbal - Words you say
B. Nonverbal - What you do; Ex. - Body language
1. 90% of communication is nonverbal
2. Why do we trust nonverbal more than verbal?
a. People can lie verbally
b. Nonverbal signals are harder to control than verbal
III. Medium - What you use to communicate (radio, compter, letter)
You've got to know the rules of the medium you're using. Ex.-Older
person using the computer for the first time.
IV. Encode/Decode - Deciding what to say/Making sense of a message
V. Feedback - Response to communication
VI. Interference - Stuff that gets in the way of communication
A. Internal - Stuff inside you (emotions, fears, etc.)
B. External - Stuff outside you (noise, temperature, etc.)
VII. Setting - Where communication takes place
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RULES OF COMMUNICATION
I. You can't NOT communicate (You can't avoid communicating)
II. All communicators play roles
A. Social role > ex. student, brother, cheerleader
B. Social script > set of responses that accompany a role
C. Social penalty > punishment dished out by society (people) for not
playing your social role correctly
D. Role rigidity > getting stuck in a role; being that role even when
the setting is wrong or when it doesn't apply (ex.
teachers "teaching" their friends)
E. Role conflict > when two roles collide
III. All communication has a past, present and a future
A. Things that happened long ago still affect our communication today
B. Ex. - You don't like someone because they remind you of someone else
IV. Receivers determine meaning
A. Other people decide what you mean, and if you mean anything
B. Ex. - You say something as a compliment, but it hurts their feelings
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SELF-CONCEPT
I. Origin (Where it comes from)
A. Looking Glass Self - How others treat you
B. Social Comparison Self - How you think you measure up to others
Ex. - 5 year old girls who wanted to look like Barbie.
II. Dangers of Self-Concept
1. Resists change - once information becomes belief, (by age 4 on
some issues), our self-concept does not want to change. We'll
discard,ignore or explain away information that conflicts with
what we already "know" to be true about us.
2. Projection - putting how I feel about myself onto others. Ex.-
When I'm lonely, I see sad people everywhere.
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CONFLICT
I. Styles
1. Shark: I win/You Lose
a. Good when the stakes are high
b. Bad when feelings matter
c. Likes Foxes because they can win but get a good fight, too
d. Doesn't like Turtles because they won't fight
2. Owl: I Win/ You Win
a. Good when the feelings matter
b. Bad when time is short
c. Likes Turtles because they are a challenge
d. Doesn't like Teddy Bears because they won't let you make them win
3. Fox: I Win & Lose/ You Win & Lose
a. Good when you can't get everything (negotiation is required)
b. Bad when people start feeling manipulated (played)
c. Likes Teddy Bears because they are an easy win
d. Doesn't like Sharks because they won't cut a deal
4. Turtle: I Lose/ You Lose
a. Good when the stakes are low (doesn't really matter)
b. Bad when stakes are high (some things are worth fighting for)
c. Likes Sharks because they freak out when Turtles won't fight
d. Doesn't like Owls because they won't shut up and leave them alone
5. Teddy Bear: I (Choose to) Lose/ (So That) You Win
a. Good when the other person is all that matters
b. Bad when you matter, too
c. Likes Owls because they are grateful for what you have given
d. Doesn't like Foxes because they think they tricked you
II. Conflict Goals: What we fight about
*Content - what we SAY it's about (never is)
*Process - how we are going to fight
*Relational - who we are to each other (usually is)
*Identity - who you are as a person
III. When we feel defeated, we become what we hate! Hmmm...
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PARTS OF A SPEECH OUTLINE
Attention-Getter: Question, quote, story, joke, wierd fact
Who Cares: How does your topic affect the audience?
Preview: Mention your main points
Transition 1 : Linking words and phrases to fill in the gap
I. Main Point
A. Support point
B. Support point
1. Detail
2.Detail
C. Support point
Website
Transition 2 Linking words and phrases to fill in the gap
II. Main Point
A. Support point
1.Detail
2.Detail
B. Support point
C. Support point
1.Detail
2.Detail
Website
Transition 3 Linking words and phrases to fill in the gap
III. Main Point
A. Support point
1.Detail
2.Detail
B. Support point
1.Detail
2.Detail
C. Support point
1.Detail
2.Detail
Website
Transition 4 Linking words and phrases to fill in the gap
Review main points : Mention your Main Points
So what?? How can the audience use this information?
Clencher: Return to your Attention-Getter
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End 1st Quarter
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III. Self-Esteem > How you feel about yourself
A. The LIE: My worth = other's opinions + my performance
B. Living the LIE produces Fear of Failure
1. Perfectionism - unwilling to fail
a. Focus on 1 failure rather than 100 successes
b. Appear highly motivated (fear)
c. 'Have to' mentality - 'I have to get an A' (because my self-
worth is related to my grades), 'I have to get to class on
time' (because I cannot bear my teacher's disapproval).
d. Are often taken advantage of by manipulative people
2. Risk avoidance - willing to try ONLY what we will succeed at
a. Often called 'lazy'or 'slacker'
b. Appear unmotivated (fear)
c. Potential is often overlooked
d. Appeals of 'try harder' don't work because we will have no
excuse if we really try hard and still fail
C. Solutions to the Fear of Failure
1. Avoid 'all or nothing' thinking
2. Remind yourself that you're still ok even when you fail:
'It would be nice if I ___________, but I'm still loved,
accepted, and safe.'
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PERCEPTION
I. Definition > How you see the world (yourself and others
II. Rule of > We see what we expect to see
III. Flaws in
A. Stereotyping > Grouping by category (not bad unless we assume that
it applies to people AND that all people of a category have the
same characteristics)
B. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy > Acting on a belief as though it were
true and THEREBY making it true
C. Attribution Error > Assigning blame based on whether we are in the
situation (Actor) or watching the situation (observer). We see
ourselves as merely responding to the situation (ex.- we yell at
someone) whereas we think other people are "bad people" when they
yell at people.
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Put it all together: How are Self-Concept, Perception and Communication
related?
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SMALL GROUP COMMUNICATION
I. Benefits of Group Membership: Affection, companionship, blah, blah, blah
Most Important Benefit: Being bossed around!
II. How Groups Boss You Around: Social Contract
A. Social Contract > A set of rules and norms that govern behavior
1. Rule > expressed expectations for behavior
a. Predictable consequences for violation
b. Predictable time period for punishment to end
c. Ex. - tardy to class = stand up for 1 hour
2. Norm > unexpressed expectations for bheavior
a. Rejection as punishment, but uncertain what form it'll take
b. No set time for punishment to end
c. Ex. - flipping the teacher off = ???????
B. Rule of Rules and Norms
1. Unfair norms are harder to change than unfair rules
2. You'd much rather break a rule than a norm (social penalty)
III. Cohesion > the amount of attraction/loyalty you have for a group.
You'll take more lip from a group to which you're highly committed than you
will from a group you feel little connection to.
IV. Dangers of Group Membership
A. Conformity > going along with the group for the sake of fitting in
B. Social Loafing > slacking in a group because of shared
accountability
C. Shooting Yourself in the Foot > taking on too much so that if you
fail, no one will blame you
D. Submersion > losing your identity to the group
1. Uniforms
2. Known by rank, number or position instead of name
3. Allows you to do what you would never do alone
4. Ex. Police officer chasing an armed felon down a dark alley
E. Groupthink > when a group starts losing touch with reality
1. Guard members from outside influence
2. Believe they're never wrong
3. Believe God is on their side
4. Begin characterizing the "enemy" as weak, evil or stupid
5. Ex. Cults
V. Power
A. Definition: having your opinion matter
B. Rule of Power: Power someone has over you = Your dependence on them
C. Types of Power
1. Reward: give you something you want
2. Referent: want to be like them (hero)
3. Expert: they know stuff
4. Coercion: make you do it (force)
SMALL GROUP LEADERSHIP
I. Styles
A. Country Club > Highly concerned for people, unconcerned for getting
the task done. Appropriate choice when the task should be enjoyed.
Ex. a party
B. Team > Highly concerned for both people and task. Good choice when
alienating people would defeat the point of the task or when failing
to do the task would hurt the people. Ex. a class
C. Task > Highly concerned for getting the job done, unconcerned for
people's feelings. Good choice when the task is so critical that
feelings don't matter. Ex. a firefighter shouting orders
D. Coffee Break > Unconcerned for both the task and people's feelings.
A good choice when neither is your business. Ex. eating lunch
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COMMUNICATION FLOW
I. Four styles
A. Chain = Like "the telephone game" / A to B to C to D
B. Y = Everyone must go through the "gatekeeper" to get to the "boss"
C. Star = Everyone talks to everyone
D. Wheel = No one talks to anyone EXCEPT the "boss"
II. Norms control communication flow
A. Most groups will not admit that their norms exist
(ex. we say that we have an "open door policy," but is it really?)
B. You're punished more harshly for violating a norm than a rule
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GENDER DIFFERENCES IN COMMUNICATION
I. Verbal
A. Feminine
1. Tag questions and hedges
2. Show closeness through talk
3. Tell secrets/"I know how you feel" stories
4. Believe friends must help you talk out your troubles
B. Masculine
1. Absolutes: yes/no
2. Interrupt to change subject or disagree
3. Show closeness through doing favors
4. Believe friends must distract you from your troubles
II. Nonverbal
A. Masculine
1. Large personal space/ defend it
2. Right to look
3. Few response cues to speaker
B. Feminine
1. Small personal space/retreat
2. Lots of response cues to speaker
3. Smile and look away when looked at
III. Friendship
A. Masculine
1. Show closeness by doing favors
2. Try to distract a friend who is hurting
3. Get together to DO THINGS
B. Feminine
1. Show closeness through talk
2. Try to help a friend who is hurting deal with their feelings
3. Get together to TALK
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DISABILITY AND COMMUNICATION
I. Myths about Disability (Beliefs that are NOT true)
A. Threat to Society - Criminals, wild animals, devils
B. Object of Pity - How helpless people with disabilities are; we
should just be glad we aren't like that
C. Victim of Parents' Lifestyle - Someone must be to blame
D. Burden of Charity - People with disabilites have no worth or value;
they must depend on generous others to take care of them
E. Pile of Problems - They are their disability; "the blind kid"
F. Object of Ridicule - Fun to tease and humiliate
G. Eternal Child - Have the "mind of a 5 year-old"
H. Holy Innocent - A gift or punishment from God
II. Disability Statistic in the U.S. (1997 Census Bureau)
A. 20% of Americans have disabilities: 9 million people require
assistance with daily living.
B. Only 34% of people with serious disabilities graduate from high
school
C. People with disabilites are 2.5 times more likely to live below the
poverty level (-$13,000/year)
D. 86% of people with disabilities are unemployed
E. 77% of people with disabilities receive NO public assistance
(welfare, Medicaid, food stamps or SSI)
F. Statistically, 30 students out of the school population at SWJH will
become permanently disabled before they turn 21 requiring assistance
in daily living for the rest of their lives.
III. How Disability Influences Perception
A. Rule of Perception: We see what we expect to see.
1. We see the disability first.
2. Myths that we've picked up from the culture color our expectations
3. We notice aspects about the person that confirm our expectations
B. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: We act on a belief as though it were
true, and thereby make it come true.
1. People with disabilities notice how others treat them.
2. We believe others are correct in their perceptions. Ex. - "I
must be scary because people are scared of me."
3. We may act in ways that reinforce others' beliefs about
our disability.
IV. Communicating with People with Disabilities
A. People First Language: "Eli" v. "My autistic son"; don't assume
that the disability must be used to describe, introduce or explain
to others. If you MUST refer to disability, make sure you put the
person first and avoid "is." Examples - "Eli, who HAS autism"
"Terry, who USES a wheelchair."
B. Avoid stereotypes: There is no place for words like "retard,"
"psycho," "spaz," "handicapped," "crippled," "freak," or "Rain
Man" in a respectful and informed vocabulary.
C. Helping v. prying: Ask if the person needs your help, THEN LISTEN
TO THEIR ANSWER. Don't assume they are helpless.
D. Being real: Don't pretend you understand when you don't. If you
don't understand what someone is saying, apologize and ask them to
repeat what they said until you do. NEVER do the fake listening
thing: "Oh, yeah? That's great!" They can tell.
E. Respect personal space: A person's wheelchair is considered part of
their personal space. Don't lean on, touch or play with it while
you speak to the person. Think of it the way you think of your
legs.
F. Don't make excuses: If you meet someone with a prosthetic hand or a
hook, extend your right hand like you would to anyone else. If he
or she extends the left hand when you do, then follow suit.
G. Be truthful: When people do or say something inappropriate, call
them on it rather than letting it drive you away. If your friend
with a mental disability likes to wrestle with you, he may think
it's okay to do that every time you meet. If it's not okay, tell
him that school isn't where you wrestle; that's for home.
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BULLYING
I. Who bullies are
A. Boys bully through physical threat or harm (trash-canning)
B. Girls bully through emotional threat or harm (gossip)
C. Both use verbal threats to dissuade the target from reporting it
D. Anyone can be a bully: smart/dumb, popular/unpopular,
attractive/unattractive---look in a mirror, that's what a bully
looks like
II. Bullying is about power
A. Bullies choose targets deliberately
B. Target characteristics
1. Someone with few social contacts/support
2. Someone who will not tell because of shame
C. Our culture tends to blame the target for being victimized
D. Bullies lose their popularity and are disliked by their peers even
though the bully seldom recognizes his/her loss of status
III. Statistics
A. By age 24, 60% of bullies have a criminal conviction
B. Bullying occurs once every 7 minutes
C. Only 25% of students report that teachers intervene
D. 70% of teachers say they always intervene
E. Most targets are unlikely to report bullying
F. Most adults believe bullying is "just a part of growing up"
G. 70% of school shooters had been bullied for 2 years or more
IV. Myths (Beliefs that are NOT true)
A. Teens are safer from violence than adults
*Teens are 2.5 times more likely to be victims of violence
B. Carrying a weapon makes you safer
*35% of victims were armed when they themselves were shot
C. Most people get killed by someone they don't know
*75% of teen homicides involve people who know each other
D. Most targets are chosen because of their race
*The bully and the target are of the same race 90% of the time
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PERSUASION SPEECH
I. Requirements
A. 5 or 7 minutes long (-/+ 10 secs)
B. 5 Internet sources cited during speech
C. Typed outline and Bibliography
D. 6 PowerPoint slides as visual aid (we will create these in the lab)
E. 3 minutes of rebuttal
II. Topic Suggestions
A. Topic must be a social issue with 2 sides
B. No "duh," inappropriate, or outlawed topics
Includes but not limited to:
Seatbelts Smoking Drug use Drinking and driving
Abortion Religion Politicians Capital punishment
Spanking
C. Take the hard side of the topic (leave the audience the easiest one)
D. Arguing AGAINST how you really feel (helps you anticipate our attack)
III. Outline Suggestions
A. Don't stress: this is the same outline I've taught you all along.
The only difference is that this time, I'm telling you what your main points
have to be about.
B. Sample outline (Topic: Curfews)
Introduction
*Attention-getter
*Who cares?
*Preview
I. Problem: Crimes committed by people under 18 at night
A. How big is it?
1. $40 million in property damage last year
2. 167 girls in Washington County alone
3. $35 million
4. 202 arrests on possession
5. 51 citations for DWI to underage drivers
B. How bad is it?
1. Theft story
2. Date rape story
3. Graffiti example from Springdale
4. Drug use story
5. Teen drinking story
C. How long has it been happening?
1. 1950's curfews were established
2. 1990's parents stopped enforcing family curfews
D. Whose fault is it?
1. Parents no longer control their children
2. If they won't, the community has to
II. Plan (What you propose to fix the problem)
A. What is it? Stricter curfew for kids under 18
1. 10 p.m. required to be at home
2. If a kid is caught out after 10, they'll be taken to jail
3. If a kid is jailed more than twice in a 6 month period, their
parents will be prosecuted for child neglect
B. How will it solve the problem? (Relate to what you said the problem
was)
1. Crimes will go down
2. Parents will make their kids mind
C. Where's the money for your plan coming from?
1. No money. Parent volunteers will make citizen's arrests
D. How can WE (15 year olds) do your plan?
III. Benefits of your plan
A. Safe streets
B. Fewer crimes
C. Happy homes
Conclusion
*
*
*
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Logical Fallacies = Errors in thinking (Dumb reasons)
Bandwagon = Everyone else is doing it, you should, too. (Can also be
reversed: Everyone else is doing it, so you must be a rebel and refuse to.)
Straw Man = Twisting your argument into an absurd simplification you can't
defend. Ex. - You want to take Coke machines out of school? What are you,
a Commie Pinko bedwetter? Why don't you just move to Russia then?
Tradition = We do it this way because we've always done it this way. Ex. -
We don't need a woman for President because all the Presidents have been men.
Post Hoc = Blaming one event on the event that happened before it. Ex. -
You were the last one to use the VCR remote, now it's broken, you must have
broken it.
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