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Children, just like adults, often perform better when there is a proverbial
carrot dangling just ahead. A bit of motivation can work wonders to guide your
child towards better behavior or improved schoolwork.
The old fashioned chart is the generally the simplest method for you and your
child to gauge his progress. A simple check mark in the allotted box will
provide accurate statistics for both of you to view his betterment.
Last month, I printed a table that I had created in Word that consisted of
three rows (for my three children) and forty columns. I chose the number
forty, bearing in mind that if each child receives 2-4 checks per day in his
row, the chart would be finished in about 2-3 weeks.
Younger children have a lesser understanding of time and delayed
gratification. Toddlers should receive their reward daily, while children in
the 3-5 age brackets can wait one or two weeks in anticipation of their
reward. Thirty days would be the maximum time for a school-age child to obtain
their reward. Teenagers can have longer-term goals, with ninety days being the
longest stretch of time they ought to wait.
It took my children between two and three weeks for them to garner all of the
necessary check marks for good behavior on their charts. I should note, that
my children had asked for diabolos
after seeing others in the neighborhood with the Chinese yo-yo. We wrote
“Diabolos” on the top of the chart, and all of the children eagerly
anticipated the day their chart would be completed, and they would get their
prize.
Ad their check marks neared the end of the forty boxes in each column, my
children looked for opportunities to earn additional checks and finish their
charts. “Mom, can I get another check if I sweep the kitchen?” and “I shared
the snacks from my friend’s birthday party with my brother- may I please have
another check” were commonly heard!
It was a joy to have my competitive children looking out for one another, and
search for opportunities to demonstrate good behavior! Find an object your
child desires, print out a chart, and watch the growth in their behavior and
their check marks!
Posted by Ellen C. Braun in Parenting
Advice, Motivating
Children
Watch TV Together to Improve Your Child's Comprehension
and Test-Taking Skills
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You can take a very active role in preparing your kids for the kinds of
questions that appear on standardized tests. Here's a simple activity that you
can do together to help them improve their reading and writing skills.
Yes, believe it or not, watching television with your kids is a great way to
start preparing them for a standardized test. And chances are your children
won't mind the extra effort of watching a little TV!
Since these tests ask a broad range of questions -- from direct to
introspective -- it helps to start familiarizing your child with different
types of questions early on. And this activity has the added benefit of
strengthening your child's memory, attention span, and thinking skills.
Step 1: Start by watching a television program with your child that is
about a half-hour long.
Step 2: During the commercial breaks, ask your child some basic, or
"literal," questions about the program: "How many kids went to the movies?
What color shirt was Joey wearing when Debbie came over?" These questions will
sharpen your kids' level of attentiveness and make them more aware of what
they're watching.
Step 3: Once in a while, ask a few interpretive questions during the
commercials: "How do you think Debbie felt when she found out that Joey
cheated on the test?" Make your child think a little bit about different
situations and how they affect characters on the show. This "higher level" of
questioning is great practice for the questions that your child will encounter
on the test.
Step 4: At the end of the program, have your child summarize the events
of the last half-hour and come up with a title for that episode. Also, ask
your child a question that requires some critical thinking: "How do you feel
about cheating? Do you think Joey's teacher should have handled the situation
differently?"
Step 5: As you repeat this activity, try to include more and more
higher-level, interpretive, and critical-thinking questions. Start to have
your child write his or her responses down on paper, instead of telling them
to you. You may also increase the program length to an hour.
Take a Walk in a Character's Shoes
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An Activity to Strengthen Your Child's Test-Taking Skills
This activity requires that your child place himself in a TV character's
position.
Ask your child what he would have done in that character's place. Does your
child agree with the character's actions? What would he or she have done
differently? The same?
This activity is great because it makes the child go beyond what is happening
and do some critical thinking. You can also do this activity with a book,
movie, or short story.
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Activities written by Howard I. Berrent, Ph.D. with Caren Churchbuilder
of Steck-Vaughn/Berrent Publications.
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Read
this article for tips on how to get your child active and physically fit!
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Focus on Family
Fitness
By:
Timothy Gower
Today, between 15 and 25
percent of schoolchildren in the United States are overweight, placing them at
risk for heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure. A recent report
from the Surgeon General states that only about half of all Americans aged 12
to 21 exercise regularly; one-quarter get no exercise at all.
The Surgeon General's
report also notes that children tend to become less active with each passing
year. It's easy to blame the lure of TV and the Internet for turning kids into
idle slackers, but the influences are far more complex. Budget-conscious
school officials are cutting physical education programs. Some adolescents
surrender their free time to after-school jobs. Many teens mysteriously forget
that they own bicycles once they get a driver's license. Finally, exercise can
fall victim to fashion, points out Mary Ann Hill, a spokeswoman for the
President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports. "It just becomes the less
cool thing to do," Hill says.
Be a role model for
your kids
The Surgeon General
recommends that all Americans get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day.
Several studies have shown that children shape their attitudes about fitness
by looking to role models -- friends, siblings, and, yes, parents. You don't
need to be a super jock to inspire a child to stay fit. Here's how three
families got in shape together:
The five o'clock group
Kris Ackeret convinced
her daughter Ericka, 13, to join the "Five O'Clock Group," a collection of
Kris's friends who rise at dawn several times a week to race-walk through the
streets of San Jose, California. Ericka caught on quickly and now wins
competitions. More importantly, says Kris, "exercise will always be part of
her routine."
Hiking, biking, and
jogging in Herndon, Virginia
Once a year, the
Thibaults of Herndon, Virginia, go hiking in Shenandoah National Park. But
staying active together is more than an annual event for the family of four.
When Mike jogs, he's frequently joined by his daughter Michelle, 10, and son
John, 8, who keep pace on bikes. Several days a week, Mary, 44, accompanies
the kids on a brisk one-mile walk to school. The family swims and skis
together, too. "You can't preach to them," Mary says. "Setting an example is
the greatest teacher."
A father and
daughter's crosstown walk
Chris Koehler challenged
his daughter Katie to accompany him each night on his crosstown walk for one
year. The reward: $100. But for the Koehlers, of Hornell, New York, the money
was soon an after-thought. "The walks became a great opportunity for us to
have 45 minutes to ourselves," says Chris. After winning the cash, Katie, 11,
kept right on walking with her dad. "And when I get older," she says, "I'll
walk with my kids, too."
Five Fitness Tips For
Families
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Warm up! Take a few
minutes to stretch before any activity.
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Keep safety in mind.
Wear appropriate headgear or pads when cycling or skating. (Moms and dads,
this also means you.)
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Let a different family
member pick their favorite activity for the whole group to do together each
week.
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Buy a notebook and use
it as a fitness diary. Record how long or far each family member walked, ran,
or cycled each day.
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Stick to a schedule.
Make regular physical activity a part of your family's daily routine.
Got some family fitness
tips of your own? Share them with other parents!
Resources:
99 Tips for Family
Fitness Fun...write for a free brochure: "99 Tips for Family Fitness Fun," c/o
MET-Rx Foundation for Health Enhancement, 2112 Business Center Drive, Irvine,
CA 92715-1014.
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Do
you have a hard time getting your lst grader to read aloud for 20 minutes each
evening? Try some of the tips mentioned in this article.
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Five Tips for Parents
of Reluctant Readers
Would your child rather
clean up his room than pick up a book? These five tips from reading expert
Marie Carbo can help you get your child back on the right reading track.
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Make reading relaxing
and low-key for a short part of the day.
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Read aloud some funny or
interesting parts of your favorite book.
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Draw your child in with
a riddle book for kids, a passage from Sports Illustrated, or a newspaper
story.
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If your kid likes a
movie, see if it's based on a book, then bring home the book.
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For kids who have lost
the motivation to read, use material that's intensely interesting to them.
Your child may almost have to disassociate what he's doing at school with the
act of reading something for fun.
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This
is a great way to bring a family together and promote reading at the same
time. When you play this "Reading Olympics" game even your pre-schooler will
have a chance to win the gold in reading!
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Reading Olympics
Ages: Prereaders,
beginning readers, older readers
Materials:
Posterboard (or sturdy paper), paint or crayons, scissors, hole puncher, spool
of ribbon
In this activity, family
members go for the gold (or whatever other color they choose) by entering
books they have read in a fun series of Olympic reading events.
What to do:
Together,
brainstorm a list of book games and competitions. Keep contests of skill to a
minimum, and make them fun. For most events, the books themselves should be
the contenders. Here are some examples of records your readers can hope to
hold:
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Most number of pages
read in seven minutes
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Longest list of
characters in a single story
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Fastest oral reading
that the family can still understand
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Longest word on a page
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Longest sentence on a
page
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Thickest book (not
necessarily the one with the most pages)
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Book with the most
pictures
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Book with the longest
title (number of words)
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Oldest book (earliest
copyright)
The family decides when
to hold the events (plan an hour or two over several consecutive evenings) and
sets some ground rules. For example: Books have to have been read in the last
six weeks to qualify (or the next six weeks if you're planning ahead); readers
can enter the same book in no more than two events (this encourages more
reading); and two readers who enter the same book can tie for a medal.
The children can fashion
their own medallions out of posterboard and color or paint them any three
colors that correspond to the gold, silver, and bronze medals awarded to the
top three contenders in the real Olympics. Help punch holes and string them on
lengths of ribbon.
Make sure everybody in
the family wins plenty of medals!
Source: The RIF
Guide to Encouraging Young Readers, edited by Ruth Graves
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Besides
lighting up our lives, putting a smile on our faces, and a dance in our feet,
studies have shown that music enhances student academic achievement,
especially in mathematics! Don't wait until your student is a teenager to try
these tips.
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Encouraging Musical
Talents
Is your son or daughter a budding music buff? Encourage these interests and
talents with the following tips.
1. Expose your kids to all kinds of music.
Try listening to music that's outside your usual range: classical
(opera, symphonic, chamber music), pop, country, folk, ethnic music of other
cultures, jazz -- you name it!
2. Seek out live music.
Ask your son or daughter to attend concerts with you -- trade off
the choice of the event. Also consider visiting local clubs and churches noted
for gospel, baroque, or contemporary music.
3. Participate, participate, participate!
Encourage your kids to join the school chorus or band. Have her
invite friends over to play together. She can also share her talents in the
community through your church, in talent shows and youth orchestras, or by
volunteering to play at nursing homes.
4. Visit a museum.
Investigate any museums in your area that have collections of
musical instruments -- ancient, medieval, baroque, and modern. Invite your
teen to spend a leisurely afternoon with you or friends at the museum, or add
one as a side trip travelling.
5. Check in on your child's music teacher.
There needs to be a good personality fit between the two in order
for the teacher to understand and motivate your child. Make sure they are
comfortable with each other.
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Ease
first grade tension and stress for both you and your student by having a
better understanding of what social and academic development your child will
be struggling through this year.
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Ages and Stages:
First Grade
Brought to you by the American
School Counselor Association
Is your six-year-old on
track? Below are some general development milestones to help you understand
your child's progress over the school year. Keep in mind that every child is
different and may not fit perfectly into this framework.
Where They Are
The
average six-year old is extremely egocentric and wants to be the center of
attention. She:
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Wants to be the "best"
and "first."
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Has boundless energy.
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May be oppositional,
silly, brash, and critical.
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Cries easily; shows a
variety of tension-releasing behavior.
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Is attached to the
teacher.
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Has difficulty being
flexible.
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Often considers fantasy
real.
Where They're Going?
School
isn't just about academics. Your child's teachers are also helping him grow
socially. At six-years-old, your child is learning to understand himself. You
can help by encouraging him as he:
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Develops a positive,
realistic self-concept.
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Learns to respect
himself.
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Begins to understand his
own uniqueness.
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Gains awareness of his
feelings.
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Learns to express
feelings.
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Learns how to
participate in groups.
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Begins to learn from his
mistakes.
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A
very important skill first graders need to perfect is how to win and lose with
grace. This article gives some great tips on how to take advantage of those
teachable moments and talk to your child about sportsmanship.
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Let's Talk about
Sportsmanship
Dr.
Susan Linn
Talking About
Sportsmanship
FOR AGES: Six and
up
THE SCENE
Eight-year-old
Alissa's soccer team is just about to lose its big game when you see her shove
one of her opponents. The referee removes her from the game, and she sits
sulking on the sidelines.
It's always upsetting to
see your child behave like a bad sport. But you can turn these incidents into
conversations about good sportsmanship. Give your child some time to
cool off and then approach the subject in a neutral way.
THE WORDS YOU NEED
By talking with
children, listening to their experiences, and setting positive examples we can
help them develop the life-long skills they need to work and play with others.
Here are a few suggestions to kick-off the conversation.
The Words: "You
know, it's not like you to act like that on the field."
The Reason:
Children are usually ashamed and embarrassed when they act out publicly. Try
to begin the conversation without being accusatory. Let them know that you
understand that there might be unusual circumstances behind their behavior.
The Words: "I'm
wondering what was going on."
The Reason: Try
to listen carefully to your child's experience of what happened. Was she under
too much pressure to win? Did someone on the other team push her? Was she
responding to a referee's unfair call?
The Words: "It's
frustrating when that happens, isn't it?"
The Reason: It's
always helpful to validate a child's feelings, even if you're not happy with
her behavior.
The Words: "Those
kinds of things may happen again; let's think about some other ways to cope."
The Reason: Try
to come up acceptable strategies for the inevitable frustrations of playing a
sport. Encourage her to talk with her coach about her concerns. Her coach
probably has experience helping children cope effectively with the pressures
of losing, unfair calls, or opponents who don't play fair.
The Words:
"Everyone likes to win, but it's more important to me that you're having fun."
The Reason: Help
your children put winning in perspective and learn to lose with dignity. The
trick here is to make sure that you're telling them the truth about your
feelings about winning. Talk with them about times when winning and/or losing
have been important to you.
CONVERSATION TIPS
Even though you might be
appalled by your child's display of bad sportsmanship, it's important to
remain calm during the conversation. Be clear about your values and
expectations.
BEYOND THE RAP
Good
sportsmanship begins at home. Often, kids who are bad sports feel like they
are under a lot of pressure from their parents to win at all costs. What kind
of an example are you setting for your kids? Ask yourself these questions:
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How do I behave when I'm
playing sports or board games with my children?
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How do I react when they
make a mistake? When they win? When they lose?
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How do I behave at my
children's soccer, Little League, or Pop Warner games?
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Do I ever get visibly
angry at the coach or the referee?
Look around at the
parents of your child's teammates. Are they behaving like good sports? If not,
talk with your child about their behavior, and about how hard it must be for
their children.
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The ABCs for Parents
Ask your child about the school day.
Begin your child's day with a nourishing breakfast.
Congratulate your child for doing well.
Discuss homework with your child.
Encourage your child to read.
Find a quiet place for your child to study.
Give your child responsibilities.
Hug your child to build self worth.
Include your child in making simple family decisions.
Join a library with your child.
Keep your child on a schedule that includes exercise and sleep.
Limit TV viewing by selecting programs with your child.
Make the time you spend with your child special.
Notice and discuss changes in your child's behavior.
Offer to help your child organize school papers.
Provide your child with good role models.
Question the activities your child shares with friends.
Respect your child's right to have opinions different from yours.
Share an interest or a hobby with your child.
Take time to listen to your child.
Urge you child to say "NO!" to unwanted touching.
Visit places of interest with your child.
Work with your child to set up rules of behavior.
Xerox and save records and articles that benefit your child.
Yield results by encouraging your child to do better.
Zoom through these ABCs again and again!.
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Whose Child Is This?
'Whose child is this?' I asked one day
Seeing a little one out at play.
'Mine,' said the parent with a tender smile,
'Mine to keep a little while
To bathe his hands and comb his hair
To prepare him that he may always be good
And each day do the things he should.'
'Whose child is this?' I asked again
As the door opened and someone came in.
'Mine,' said the teacher with the same
tender smile
'Mine to keep just for a little while
To teach him how to be gentle and kind
To train and direct his dear little mind
To help him live by every rule
And get the best he can from school.'
'Whose child is this?' I asked once more
Just as the little one entered the door.
'Ours" said the parent and teacher as they
smiled,
And each took the hand of the little child,
Ours to love and train together,
Ours this blessed task together.'
My heart smiles with satisfaction when I
think of the power we have, working together, to touch the lives of children
---to awaken in them a passion and excitement for learning! Thank you for
sharing your child with me this year! Ms. Mac
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