Scattered (and respectful) thoughts for another year
I remember once reading a birthday card addressed to a friend that said, “One
year older and that much closer to dressing like dad.” One could probably
exchange the word dress with the words “acting like.” Dress is an appropriate
metaphor for acting like an adult, whatever that might look like. Maybe
acting like an adult means that you are able to act within the bounds of
civility; able to be respected while being respectful. Hmmmm…
Perusing SSMS behavior data from the 2008-2009 school year, the majority of
referrals (both male and female) reported that our major issue with student
behavior dealt with disrespect. Is it me or have I heard this somewhere
before?
Any guess as to might have uttered the famous quote about the youth of the
day?
"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer
rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers."
Or this one?
"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have
no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all
restraint. They talk as if they alone knew everything and what passes
for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for girls, they are
forward, immodest and unwomanly in speech, behaviour and dress."
Both quotes are attributed Socrates in Book Four of Plato’s The Republic.
There is also this from Hesiod, considered one of the great Greek writers in
the time of Homer (8th century, BC).
"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond
words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and
respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise
[disrespectful] and impatient of restraint" (Hesiod, 8th century BC).
One would have thought we would have learned by now. It seems like this view
of the youth of the day has not changed over the years. Whether or not the
quotes are accurate is not the issue, what is the issue is that adults have
always been concerned about our youth and their perceived lack of respect to
adults. In light of the recent outbursts from elected officials, music
celebrities, and/or tennis players (doesn’t that go with the sport?), the
finger may be pointed in the wrong direction. Either way, I will choose to
comment on how SSMS plans to do teach civility to our students.
Our code addresses “Respect” in many of the areas students find themselves
during the day. We spend a good portion of our first weeks teaching students
how to address adults in the office, how to be respectful ourselves and
others as well as treating the building and its grounds in a respectful
manner. We tell students what respectful behavior looks like, but I wonder if
we take the time to teach what respect looks like in our classrooms. As a
classroom teacher for 20 years, I doubt if I ever did.
The beauty of teaching respect or respectful behavior is that it is easy to
model. “Please” and “thank you” should be a part of every day instruction.
Incorporating respect and civility into daily lessons regardless of the
subject matter may not be all that difficult. We can and will provide mini-
units on respectful behavior.
The difficulty lies in defining what respect and disrespect looks like to
each of us. “Eye-rolling” no doubt bothers many people, yet to me it might
not be that big of a deal. Interrupting a President’s speech can be
considered rude and disrespectful, and might even call for some form of
censoring in the United States Congress; while in Great Britain the
Parliament is extremely vocal during addresses made by one another, including
the Prime Minister. Tennis players feel empowered to be critical of referee
decisions; yet baseball players are immediately ejected when they attempt to
argue the call of an umpire. Do I even need to bring up the behavior of
professional hockey players?
I don’t know if I dress more and more like my dad—I hope not. I do know that
he taught me what respect meant to him. I know he was both respected and
respectful (unless you were that unfortunate referee).
Bottom line, we may never agree on all matters of civility and that is ok.
What matters is that we realize that teaching manners belongs to all of us.
If it means enough to us that we are willing call someone on their behavior,
then we need to be willing enough to teach our expectations.
Sailors! Make it a respectful day!
