Police to kids: Use care on networking sites
By Kirk Lang
Posted: 02/06/2009 10:05:52 AM EST
Everyone doesn't have to be your "friend." So says the Police Department when it comes to social
networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace.com
Just like the peer pressure to drink, smoke and do drugs, Fairfield's Finest believe many
children in town may feel the pressure to acquire a lot of online "friends," and thus add people
who aren't exactly their friends or may be total strangers to appear popular.
One danger of Facebook and MySpace, said Detective Fred Hine, who works in the youth bureau, is
that photos you post, comments you leave for your buddies, and instant message conversations
always can be printed out and come back to haunt you.
Also, in that world called the Internet, one never can truly be certain who they're talking to.
"Kids will say, 'This is just to talk to my friends,' "said Hine. "But if this is just to
communicate with your friends, why are you telling personal information about you if this is
truly to communicate with your friends."
Your friends already will know your interests and favorite bands and so on, said Hine. They will
also know your real name. Hine doesn't advise children to create MySpace and Facebook profiles
under their real names if the sites are truly being used as a communication instrument. However,
for the person who has graduated college and is looking to network for jobs, one's real name
would be advisable.
Hine said if middle and high school students don't think about what they're doing, they may
regret it
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later. That friend today could become an enemy tomorrow or next month, said Hine, and the friend
from school you think you're having a one-on-one conversation with actually may have eight
friends around her. Say the wrong thing, said Hine, and you may have a conflict at school the
next day.
The Police Department has received a number of complaints from parents over the years regarding
nasty things being communicated about their children. Some parents have shown up at Police
Headquarters with printed text in hand. However, short of a physical threat or an act of
terrorism or violence, there is nothing the police can do. If a student has posted something
offensive or derogatory about another student that doesn't necessitate police intervention, Hine
advises parents contact the Facebook and MySpace administrators.
Some students post unflattering pictures of people they don't like and Facebook and MySpace both
allow users to leave public comments regarding the photos. Some children create fake profiles of
their enemies. Criminal impersonation charges, according to police, would only arise if the
student who made the profile took things too far. Some girls post suggestive photos of
themselves on their profiles in an attempt to gain more popularity.
"Young people live in the moment," said Hine. "They don't think about the future. A photograph,
if it's printed out, lives forever."
Sgt. James Perez, a department public information officer, noted that employers and college
officials often check Facebook when looking into people applying for jobs and to schools. While
Facebook does offer some privacy settings leaving many to think they're safe Perez points
out, "There are hackers all over the world who have penetrated sensitive U.S. government Web
sites, so how safe is your Facebook?"
He added, "Nothing is private on the Internet. There is always software to overcome security."
Perez understands that Facebook is likely becoming the face of the future. In fact, at a recent
law enforcement event, Perez, after giving a man a business card, was subsequently told by the
man to "Facebook me," as he did not have a business card.
Perez adds it's OK to have a Facebook account but just be extremely vigilant and careful as to
what personal information and pictures you upload to your profile.
"If there's a possibility of bringing embarrassment and shame to yourself and/or to your family,
don't do it," said Perez. "Don't let anybody peer pressure you to revealing yourself in a
compromising fashion because once you become subject to the peer pressure, that action could
haunt you for a very long time. Don't become a victim of the negativity that could befall you
from the Internet. Be confident and do not fall victim to peer pressure."
While many children may feel the need to try to acquire as many online friends as their buddies
might have, Hine believes Facebook and MySpace users shouldn't add "friends" who they really
don't know and wouldn't communicate with face-to-face or via telephone.
Coincidentally, Hine's interview with the Fairfield Citizen occurred two work days prior to
state Attorney General Richard Blumenthal announcing that in response to a subpoena from his
office, MySpace revealed it has identified about 90,000 convicted registered sex offenders on
the site, 40,000 more than previously acknowledged.
Blumenthal said Tuesday, "Almost 100,000 convicted sex offenders mixing with children on MySpace
shown by our subpoena is absolutely appalling and totally unacceptable."
He added, "For every one of them, there may be hundreds of others using false names and ages.
These convicted registered sex offenders creating profiles under their own names unmasks
MySpace's monstrously inadequate counter-measures...Social networking sites must be barred as
playgrounds for predators a very real threat exposed by the response to our subpoena."
Blumenthal, who believes social networking sites must do more to protect children,
said, "Parents remain the first line of defense against social networking abuse, and I urge the
industry to adopt technology and tools that empower and enable parents to better protect their
children."
MySpace, which has removed known registered sex offenders from its site, according to
Blumenthal, was expected to hand over its sex offender information to the attorney general's
office sometime this week. Recent reports, according to Blumenthal's office, also indicate
substantial numbers of convicted sex offenders with profiles on Facebook. Blumenthal's office is
awaiting a response to a recent subpoena to Facebook.
Blumenthal, during a phone interview yesterday, said he will likely receive Facebook's
information next week. He added he believes an "authentication process" for both MySpace and
Facebook is feasible and will make an impact in eliminating sex offenders searching the sites
under fake names and ages - for underage children.
"What we're seeking to do is make sure there are safeguards against men who lie about their
names and ages so that they can troll for children who may be as young as 13 or 14," said
Blumenthal. He added that the registration process for people older than 18, will "be really
straightforward," because MySpace and Facebook can always verify someone's submitted
registration information against town and city or DMV records.
Although parents need to be vigilant about their children's Internet usage, Blumenthal noted
that these social networking sites "have a responsibility to provide stronger safeguards "so
that parents have the tools to protect their children."
Hine said parents should not let their children go unmonitored on these social networking sites.
Hine, for example, sets parameters for his daughter, limits her friends, exchange of personal
information and occasionally monitors her activity. She also has to log into her Facebook
profile with his e-mail.
While some may say Hine is invading on his daughter's privacy, he counters: "I don't want my
daughter to be part of conversations that are not appropriate." Although there are potential
negatives related to Facebook and MySpace, there can be some positives, especially for police
departments. People's profiles can prove quite valuable for criminal investigations and Hine
said the department has created its own profiles to interact with young men and women to gain
information into something it is investigating.
It is exactly true that everyone is not who you think they are on the Internet. In addition to
the possibility that a middle school student or high school student might be talking to a sex
offender, he or she might be unknowingly communicating with a law enforcement official, said
Hine. He added that some parents may be clueless to the fact their son or daughter, for example,
may be using an image of a marijuana leaf as their Faceboook photo and have no idea the image
their child is "portraying."
When is it OK to monitor or no longer monitor one's Facebook or MySpace usage?
"It's different for different age groups," said Hine. "Every kid is different."
As for the question of a child's right to privacy, Hine said, "What expectation of privacy does
a juvenile have? They have computers because we buy them for them. It's whatever privacy we
allow them to have." Hine said parents should tell their children, "You'll have this as long as
you respect it."
Children may not feel the need to add a zillion friends if parents start in the home by being
there for their children and explaining what a real friend is.
"Teach them integrity," said Hine, who said children with a good head on their shoulders won't
feel the need to do like some of their school buddies and add lots of online friends to their
buddy list.
"If you fold to that, what are you going to fold to next, maybe a hit of a joint, maybe
drinking?"
He added that parents need to teach their children it's OK to just have eight to 12 online
buddies and that having 50 buddies (or more) on your list doesn't make you popular.
Hine said some out there are using Facebook and MySpace almost as a popularity contest, "as a
measure of acceptance."
Perez said Facebook and MySpace can and is be used at times as vehicles to boast and brag.
He added, "It lends itself to ego-building." Delving deeper into the subject, Perez
noted, "Facebook is a microcosm of that whole enigma that Hollywood has to offer. It's a chance
to create your own little stardom. It's easy, when you're in a faceless environment to make up
whatever you want."
While some might make things up to portray a certain image, some reveal nothing but the facts,
with too many details about where they went, where they're going and photos detailing all their
travels. Those that do this, said Perez, could give a stalker an easy target, or also let
criminals know when you're not going to be home (via status updates about an upcoming vacation,
for example).
"When you start giving out all your information on what you're doing every single day you become
attractive to these criminals and predators," said Perez. "Under normal circumstances you would
never reveal information to perfect strangers, yet that's what you're a part of, one big perfect
stranger forum. Facebook and MySpace should be used as a well-intentioned social mechanism, not
to be a storehouse of your personal life."
Although most people claim only friends can see their Facebook profiles, people that aren't
their friends often can see comments they leave for their online friends, because most have
their comment settings on "friends of friends" rather than just "friends." While Facebook
profiles are automatically locked unless someone approves your friend request, MySpace users'
profiles are not as secure. MySpace users have to modify their settings to make their profiles
off-limits to general view by anybody with a computer. MySpace also provides a blog option that
Facebook doesn't offer and sometimes people reveal too much in their monthly, weekly or daily
blogs. MySpace also allows users to search for people by age, sex and within 5 miles of an
inputted ZIP code while Facebook only allow users to search for people within their own network
(such a school or region of a state).
Perez advises anyone who intends on creating a Facebook or MySpace account to reveal as little
information as possible, or, if you already have a profile on a social networking site, delete
personal information that could potentially "set a precedent for danger."
He added that those revealing everything on their MySpace or Facebook pages are "no different
than opening your curtains at night for all to see" and "Who would do that?"
Hine told the Fairfield Citizen: "I think Facebook and MySpace, when used properly, can be great
entertainment, but it has to be used appropriately for different age groups. Young people need
to be supervised because they don't always consider the consequences of personal information and
communication that they expose on these sites."
Part II of this story in a future issue of the Fairfield Citizen will focus on youth opinion
regarding Facebook and MySpace.
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Facebook postings lead
to arrests
Last Edited: Friday, 02 Jan 2009, 6:51 AM EST
Created On: Friday, 02 Jan 2009, 6:47 AM EST
Newtown (AP) - Two Newtown teenagers are in trouble for alleged actions on
their Facebook online social networking pages.
In the first case, 18-year-old Ian Guilfoil is charged with three felony
counts of risk of injury to a minor, plus misdemeanor charges of reckless
endangerment and reckless driving.
Police say passengers in his car videotaped a trip in which Guilfoil
allegedly drove recklessly, including reaching 120 miles per hour on
Interstate 84. A parent called police after seeing the video posted on
Facebook.com.
Guilfoil's attorney says he regrets the incident and is seeking probation.
In an unrelated incident, a 15-year-old Newtown girl was charged Monday with
harassment for allegedly threatening a fellow student using Facebook.
Her name was not released because of her age.
------
12 simple ways to supercharge your brain by Jay @ Dumb Little Man, on Wed
Oct 22, 2008 6:00am
PDT Read More from This Author 207 Comments Post a Comment Report Abuse
Have you ever felt exasperated when you bumped into someone at the store but
absolutely couldn't
remember their name? Sure, it happens to all of us.
Despite being the strongest computer on the planet, our brains do lapse.
It's hard to blame them
really. As humans, we spend much of or existence stuffing our brains with
stuff.
No matter how powerful our brains are, they need recuperation time to be
kept in shape. Think of
it as a tune up for your brain. Skipping brain maintenance is as silly as
the person wandering
the parking garage because they forgot where they parked. Is that you? Are
you that person? If
so, fear not; we are all that person at some point.
Now I am not a brain surgeon and I am not going to suggest you do anything
surgical or
dangerous. I am however an astute student of human behavior so I always look
for simple ways to
super charge my brain.
Here are some things you can begin doing as soon as today to begin the great
brain tune up:
Eat Almonds
Almond is believed to improve memory. If a combination of almond oil and
milk is taken together
before going to bed or after getting up at morning, it strengthens our
memory power. Almond milk
is prepared by crushing the almonds without the outer cover and adding water
and sugar to it.
Drink Apple Juice
Research from the University of Massachusetts Lowell (UML) indicates that
apple juice increases
the production of the essential neurotransmitter acetylcholine in the brain,
resulting in an
increased memory power.
Sleep well
Research indicates that the long-term memory is consolidated during sleep by
replaying the
images of the experiences of the day. These repeated playbacks program the
subconscious mind to
store these images and other related information.
Enjoy simple Pleasures
Stress drains our brainpower. A stress-ridden mind consumes much of our
memory resources to
leave us with a feeble mind. Make a habit to engage yourself in few simple
pleasures everyday to
dissolve stress from your mind. Some of these simple pleasures are good for
your mind, body and
soul.
Enjoy music you love
Play with your children
Appreciate others
Run few miles a day, bike or swim
Start a blog
Take a yoga class or Total Wellness routine
Exercise your mind
Just as physical exercise is essential for a strong body, mental exercise is
equally essential
for a sharp and agile mind. Have you noticed that children have far superior
brainpower than an
adult does? Children have playful minds. A playful mind exhibits superior
memory power. Engage
in some of the activities that require your mind to remain active and
playful.
Play scrabble or crossword puzzle
Volunteer
Interact with others
Start a new hobby such as blogging, reading, painting, bird watching
Learn new skill or a foreign language
Practice Yoga or Meditation
Yoga or Meditation relives stress. Stress is a known memory buster. With
less stress, lower
blood pressure, slower respiration, slower metabolism, and released muscle
tension follows. All
of these factors contribute significantly towards increases in our
brainpower.
Reduce Sugar intake
Sugar is a non-food. Its a form of carbohydrate that offers illusionary
energy, only to cause a
downhill slump once the initial burst has been worn off. Excess intake of
sugar results in
neurotic symptoms. Excess sugar is known to cause claustrophobia, memory
loss and other neurotic
disorders. Eat food without adding sugar. Stay away from sweet drinks or
excess consumption of
caffeine with sugar.
Eat whole wheat
The whole wheat germs contain lecithin. Lecithin helps ease the problem of
the hardening of the
arteries, which often impairs brain functioning.
Eat a light meal at night
A heavy meal at night causes tossing and turning and a prolonged emotional
stress while at
sleep. Its wise to eat heavy meal during the day when our body is in motion
to consume the
heavy in-take. Eating a light meal with some fruits allows us to sleep well.
A good night sleep
strengthens our brainpower.
Develop imagination
Greeks mastered the principle of imagination and association to memorize
everything. This
technique requires one to develop a vivid and colorful imagination that can
be linked to a known
object. If you involve all your senses - touching, feeling, smelling,
hearing and seeing in the
imagination process, you can remember greater details of the event.
Control your temper
Bleached food, excess of starch or excess of white bread can lead to nerve
grating effect. This
results in a violent and some time depressive behavior. Eat fresh
vegetables. Drink lots of
water and meditate or practice yoga to relieve these toxic emotions of
temper and stressful mood
swings.
Take Vitamin B-complex
Vitamin B-complex strengthens memory power. Eat food and vegetables high in
Vitamin B-complex.
Stay away from the starch food or white bread, which depletes the Vitamin B-
complex necessary
for a healthy mind.
I don't believe these are that tough. If you find yourself increasing
stumped, give a couple of
these a try.
Written by Shilpan Patel of Success Soul and cross-posted from Dumb Little
Man, a web site that
provides tips for life that will save you money, increase your productivity,
or simply keep you
sane.
[photo credit: Getty Images}
Related: stress, healthy living, brain
Violence and Video Games
Violent video games linked to child aggressionStory Highlights
Researchers looked at how video game habits related to behavior 3 to 6
months later
Kids exposed to more video game violence became more aggressive over time
Are aggressive kids attracted to violent games or do the games make kids
violent?
Imitation, desensitization are ways that violent games can lead to real-life
aggression
Next Article in Health
By Anne Harding
About 90 percent of U.S. kids ages 8 to 16 play video games, and they spend
about 13 hours a
week doing so (more if you're a boy). Now a new study suggests virtual
violence in these games
may make kids more aggressive in real life.
Kids shouldn't play games where hunting down and killing people is the goal,
says one expert.
Kids in both the U.S. and Japan who reported playing lots of violent video
games had more
aggressive behavior months later than their peers who did not, according to
the study, which
appears in the November issue of the journal Pediatrics.
The researchers specifically tried to get to the root of the chicken-or-egg
problem -- do
children become more aggressive after playing video games or are aggressive
kids more attracted
to violent videos?
It's a murky -- and controversial -- issue. Many studies have linked
violence in TV shows and
video games to violent behavior. But when states have tried to keep under-18
kids from playing
games rated "M" for mature, the proposed restrictions have often been
challenged successfully in
court.
In the new study, Dr. Craig A. Anderson, Ph.D., of Iowa State University in
Ames, and his
colleagues looked at how children and teen's video game habits at one time
point related to
their behavior three to six months later.
The study included three groups of kids: 181 Japanese students ages 12 to
15; 1,050 Japanese
students aged 13 to 18; and 364 U.S. kids ages 9 to 12.
The U.S. children listed their three favorite games and how often they
played them. In the
younger Japanese group, the researchers looked at how often the children
played five different
violent video game genres (fighting action, shooting, adventure, among
others); in the older
group they gauged the violence in the kids' favorite game genres and the
time they spent playing
them each week.
Japanese children rated their own behavior in terms of physical aggression,
such as hitting,
kicking or getting into fights with other kids; the U.S. children rated
themselves too, but the
researchers took into account reports from their peers and teachers as well.
In every group, children who were exposed to more video game violence did
become more aggressive
over time than their peers who had less exposure. This was true even after
the researchers took
into account how aggressive the children were at the beginning of the study -
- a strong
predictor of future bad behavior.
The findings are "pretty good evidence" that violent video games do indeed
cause aggressive
behavior, says Dr. L. Rowell Huesmann, director of the Research Center for
Group Dynamics at the
University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research in Ann Arbor.
There are two ways violent media can spur people to violent actions, said
Huesmann, who has been
studying violence in media and behavior for more than 30 years. Read about
the celebrity-mom
slugfest over vaccines
First is imitation; children who watch violence in the media can internalize
the message that
the world is a hostile place, he explains, and that acting aggressively is
an OK way to deal
with it.
Also, he says, kids can become desensitized to violence. "When you're
exposed to violence day in
and day out, it loses its emotional impact on you," Huesmann said. "Once
you're emotionally numb
to violence, it's much easier to engage in violence." Read how children may
not outgrow bipolar
disorder
But Dr. Cheryl K. Olson, co-director of the Center for Mental Health and the
Media at
Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, isn't convinced.
"It's not the violence per se that's the problem, it's the context and goals
of the violence,"
said Olson, citing past research on TV violence and behavior.
There are definitely games kids shouldn't be playing, she said, for example
those where hunting
down and killing people is the goal. But she argues that the label "violent
video games" is too
vague. Researchers need to do a better job at defining what is considered a
violent video game
and what constitutes aggressive behavior, she added.
Health Library
MayoClinic.com: Children's health
"I think there may well be problems with some kinds of violent games for
some kinds of kids,"
Olson said. "We may find things we should be worried about, but right now we
don't know enough."
Further, she adds, playing games rated "M" for mature has become "normative
behavior" for
adolescents, especially boys. "It's just a routine part of what they do,"
she says. Read why
food allergies in children are on the rise
Her advice to parents? Move the computer and gaming stuff out of kids' rooms
and into public
spaces in the home, like the living room, so they can keep an eye on what
their child is up to.
Dr. David Walsh, president of the National Institute on Media and the
Family, a Minneapolis-
based non-profit, argues that the pervasiveness of violence in media has led
to a "culture of
disrespect" in which children get the message that it's acceptable to treat
one another rudely
and even aggressively.
"It doesn't necessarily mean that because a kid plays a violent video game
they're immediately
going to go out and beat somebody up," Walsh says. "The real impact is in
shaping norms, shaping
attitude. As those gradually shift, the differences start to show up in
behavior."
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Occasionally I will post articles that may be of interest to you or your
child/parent/sibling/etc. Check out this feature from time to time.
Is your teenager making life tough on the family budget? Here is an article
for you.
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Help! Our kids are driving us broke
Teach your teens and tweens budgeting basics and avoid breaking the bank.
From Money Magazine's
Kate Ashford.
By Kate Ashford, Money Magazine contributing writer
December 14 2007: 6:52 PM EST
(Money Magazine) -- Kerri and Mike Miller have a spending problem. Three of
them, in fact.
There's 12-year-old Kate, a seventh-grader who covets a pair of $160 boots,
prefers clothes from
American Eagle rather than Target and recently got a $300 cell phone.
There's nine-year-old Landon, who has a voracious appetite for video games.
And their youngest,
four-year-old Claire, will soon start taking ski lessons (cost: $224, not
including equipment).
All three kids attend summer camps that run about $60 a day for each child.
And then there's the
cost of babysitting ($200 a month), preschool ($4,000 a year) and braces
($3,000).
Even with Mike's six-figure salary in commercial finance, the Park City,
Utah, couple's ends are
nowhere close to meeting.
"I look at how much money we spend and I think, 'Where is it going?'" says
Kerri, 44, who is a
stay-at-home mom.
It's not all going to the kids, of course: Mike and Kerri have their own
indulgences, like the
hot tub they put in last year.
The home-equity line of credit they opened two years ago to pay for home
improvements now often
serves as a safety net when they come up short at the end of the month. The
balance is almost
$50,000.
"We've seen that go up and up and up," admits Mike, 48. Meanwhile, aside
from the $300,000 in
Mike's 401(k), the couple have almost no savings. And that means no
emergency fund and not a
dime set aside for the children's college.
Learning to say no to the kids won't solve the Millers' financial issues,
but it is a good place
to start. Certainly they are by no means alone when it comes to facing big
bills for their
offspring or overwhelming pressure to say yes to every request.
A study by Robert Manning, a professor of consumer finance at the Rochester
Institute of
Technology, found that parents are more willing to whip out the plastic to
pay for kids'
purchases than for their own, even when they're on a tight budget.
Study participants said that a desire to keep up with the Joneses led them
to splurge on their
children. No wonder the average upper-income family will spend $182,000 on
each child by the
time he or she turns 17, according to a survey by the U.S. Department of
Agriculture.
Of course, all kids need stuff, and there's no reason to completely deprive
them of things that
they'll enjoy and even show off to their peers.
But if other financial goals like retirement or college savings are getting
short shrift - or if
you're feeling weary of the never-ending stream of "I wants" - it's time to
get your spending
under control. Here's how.
Examine your motives
To hear your kids talk, everyone has an iPhone and a new car, except them.
But perhaps you too
believe you'd be depriving them by refusing.
When it comes to expensive activities, such as skiing or an over-the-top
Sweet 16, consider: Are
you paying for this because your kids will really enjoy it or because the
neighbors do?
"There's nothing that says you have to have a party as big as everyone
else's," says Plantation,
Fla. financial planner Ben Tobias.
Or maybe you buy because you feel bad that you didn't make it to the school
play or that you
worked the past two weekends. "I call that guilty giving, and it's a recipe
for financial
disaster," says psychotherapist Denise Cuthbertson.
While you're at it, take a look at your own purchasing habits. If you're
buying a new SUV just
because your best friend bought one, you're sending a message that you'll
hear reflected in your
children's demands.
Stop the whining
Say no to a kid? Easier said than done. But they might grasp the limitations
of your budget if
they see where your money really goes.
"All kids ever see you do with money is spend it," says Neale S. Godfrey,
author of Money
Doesn't Grow on Trees. "They don't see you save, and they don't see you pay
the bills."
At the end of the month, have your children watch you write the checks for
the mortgage,
electricity and car insurance - and even the credit card - so they see that
plastic isn't free
money.
If your teen is desperate for a pricey item, strike a bargain. You might
offer to match her
savings dollar-for-dollar or pay for a portion of the purchase. If she's
jockeying for an iPod,
you could buy the gadget but have her pay for the music downloads.
In some cases, by the time they save up the money, they may not want the
item anymore - a great
lesson in impulse shopping.
"Sometimes delayed gratification will help them realize it's not as cool as
they thought it
was," says Charlotte, N.C. financial planner Cheryl Sherrard.
Teach money management
Teens and 'tweens with a clothing budget quickly learn that it's easy to
blow $80 on a designer
item, but they'll have a lot less left over for other things. Tell your kids
you'll pay for the
basics and give them an allowance they can use for everything else.
That's what Robin and Chris Korines of Nanuet, N.Y., do for their 12-year-
old daughter Brittany.
Robin buys $25 jeans for her younger children from Old Navy, but Brittany
wants jeans that cost
twice as much.
"I put in the normal amount I pay for the other kids, and she pays the
difference," says Robin.
When it comes to holidays and birthdays, set a wish-list budget, says
Godfrey. That way, if they
want a really big-ticket item, they realize that they'll get fewer
additional presents - and
that's their call.
Save on the must-haves
There are expenses you can't avoid, but you don't have to pay full price.
"Everything's negotiable," says Mary Hunt, author of Debt-Proof Your Kids.
You can often get a
better deal if you pay all at once or entirely in cash.
Your son needs braces? Ask the orthodontist if he'll knock 10 percent off
his price if you pay
in cash or if he'd be willing to offer you an interest-free payment plan.
Your daughter wants to go to summer camp? Ask if there's a counselor-in-
training program she can
join that will lower her fees.
And don't forget that you can use your flexible spending account from work
to pay for
orthodontics, optometry bills or child care with pretax funds.
You don't want to discourage your kids from pursuing hobbies, of course, but
that doesn't mean
you have to pony up for an $800 violin or a $1,000 camera right away. Rent
musical instruments,
and buy a cheap digital camera until your kid shows real interest and
dedication.
Nip surprises in the bud
The Millers recently opened their cell-phone bill to find that Kate had
racked up $150 in text-
messaging charges. Sound familiar?
Teenagers can find endless creative ways to spend money, so take advantage
of products that can
help rein them in. Call your cable service and request a block on videos on
demand, for example,
or give Junior a gift card instead of a credit card to take to the mall.
But be realistic; no kid is going to give up text messaging altogether, so
you're better off
going with a cell-phone plan that lets him do it free of charge.
The Millers, for their part, have started to cut back, asking the kids to
pay for half of the
items, such as video games, and refusing their request for computers in
their rooms.
"One day I hope Mike will do his Quicken work and say, 'Oh my God, we didn't
go over this
month,' " says Kerri. "When that happens, he'll be doing backflips."
A better spending plan: 3 fast fixes
Kerri and Mike Miller are in a downward spending spiral, says Manhattan
Beach, Calif., planner
Eileen Freiburger, who has this advice for getting the couple back on track.
1: Refi the HELOC
The Millers' home-equity line currently has a 7.5 percent interest rate. If
they shop around,
they should be able to knock down that rate by a half to three-quarters of a
percentage point.
And they should get a HELOC without a credit card, which makes it all too
easy for them to tap
it for nonessential purchases.
2: Let Kate choose her splurges
If Kerri and Mike want to teach their 12-year-old daughter about the value
of money, they should
give her more responsibility over purchases.
They might consider putting her in charge of her entire clothing budget, in
which case she'll
have to make the name-brand buying decisions herself.
3: Set saving priorities
The Millers must cut back spending and put several hundred dollars a month
toward an emergency
fund.
Once they've got three to six months of living expenses saved, they should
direct that money
first toward Roth IRAs, then college savings. For extra money, Kerri should
consider going back
to work part time.
Your financial life: Track it. Improve it.
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