The Homework Dilemma: How
Much Should Parents Get Involved?
Before discussing ways you can help your child with homework, it is important
to discuss why teachers assign homework and how it benefits your child. Why do
teachers assign homework? Teachers assign homework for many reasons. Homework
can help children:
· review and
practice what they've learned
· get ready for the
next day's class
· learn to use
resources, such as libraries, reference materials, and the Internet
· explore subjects
more fully than time permits in the classroom
Homework can also help
children develop good habits and attitudes. Homework helps children learn to
be responsible and gives them a sense of control and accomplishment. It can
teach children to work independently; encourage self-discipline and
responsibility, and to manage time and meet deadlines. Children who spend more
time on homework, on average, do better academically than children who don't,
and the academic benefits of homework increase in the upper grades.
Just what kind of parental
involvement — and how much involvement — truly helps children with their
homework? The most useful stance parents can take, many experts agree, is to be
somewhat but not overly involved in homework. The emphasis needs to be on
parents' helping children do their homework themselves — not on doing it for
them.
The basic rule is, "Don't
do the assignments yourself." It's not your homework — it's your child's. It
can be hard for parents to let children work through problems alone and learn
from their mistakes. It's also hard to know where to draw the line between
supporting and doing. Remember, don't confuse, "Helping with Homework" with
"Helping"!
How to Help: Help Your
Child Get Organized
· Set
up a Homework Schedule
Many children benefit from
a set homework schedule. For some, the responsibility of deciding when to sit
down and do homework is too difficult. These children may decide to do their
homework after school or after dinner. This is a personal choice and has to do
with learning style. However, once the time is determined, the schedule
should be adhered to as realistically as possible. This will also relieve the
problem of having to "hunt down" or corral" children to get them to do their
homework. It may help to write out the schedule and put it in a place where
you'll see it often, such as the refrigerator door.
Outside activities, such
as sports or music lessons, may mean that you need a flexible schedule. Your
child may study after school on some days and in the evening on others. If
there isn't enough time to finish homework, your child may need to drop some
outside activity. Homework must be a high priority.
The preset
routine should also include a specified amount of time that must be devoted to
schoolwork. This is very helpful for the child whose motto is "fastest is
best" and also the one who "forgets" his homework because the child knows that
he will be required to spend a predetermined amount of time doing something
"academic." For instance, if your fourth-grader knows she's expected to spend
an hour doing homework, reading, or visiting the library, she may be less
likely to rush through assignments so that she can watch television. A
required amount of time may also discourage her from "forgetting" to bring
home assignments and help her adjust to a routine.
· Schedule
Breaks in the Study Routine
Break up the homework
routine with short breaks for snacks or quick exercise. Set a time limit for
the breaks.
· Pick a Study
Place
A desk is nice, but the
kitchen table or a corner of the living room can work just fine. A study area
should have lots of light, supplies close by, and be fairly quiet. Your child
may enjoy decorating a special study corner. A plant, a brightly colored
container to hold pencils, and some favorite artwork taped to the walls can
make study time more pleasant.
· Remove
Distractions
Turn off the television
and discourage social telephone calls during homework time. (A call to a
classmate about an assignment may, however, be helpful.) Some youngsters work
well with quiet background music, but loud noise from the stereo or TV is not
OK.
· Provide Supplies
and Identify Resources
For starters, collect
pencils, pens, erasers, writing paper, an assignment book, and a dictionary.
Other things that might be helpful include glue, a stapler, paper clips, maps,
a calculator, a pencil sharpener, tape, scissors, a ruler, index cards, a
thesaurus, and an almanac. Keep these items together in one place if possible.
How to
Help: Provide Guidance
· Talk About the
Assignments
Ask your child questions.
Talking can help him think through an assignment and break it down into small,
workable parts. Here are some sample questions:
Do you have everything
you need to do the assignment?
Ask to see any necessary books, worksheets, or teacher instructions.
Have you ever done any
assignment like the one you're supposed to do right now?
See if your child has already done similar assignments that can guide her in
completing this particular one. Also ask if your child has already spent time
in class on this assignment, and if so, how effectively she used her time in
school.
Do you
understand what you're supposed to do? After your child has read the
instructions, ask her to tell you in her own words what the assignment is
about.
Do you need help in
understanding how to do your work?
If you understand the subject yourself, you may want to work through some
examples with your child *. But let her do the assignment herself.
What
do you need to do to finish the assignment? Your child may want to talk
through the steps with you (or make a written list of them, if he's able to),
as described in the section above on good study habits.
(* Note: One online
resource for Homework Help for a wide range of subjects is
www.kidbibs.com/homeworkhelp.htm)
· Rank the
Assignments
For some children, the
decision about what to do first becomes a major chore. They may dwell over
this choice for a long time. Other children use horizontal perspective. This
occurs when everything takes on the same level of importance and no priority
is seen. Use the due dates for assignments, as well as commitments to
extra-curricular activities, guide you and your child in setting priorities.
If you choose to rank
order, suggest which assignment to do first and so on. Many children tend to
use a quantity orientation (number of assignments left) rather than a qualitative
orientation (difficulty of assignment). This means that if they have five
things to do, have them finish the four easy ones first. In their eyes, they
have only one assignment left even though it may be a more difficult task.
· Look Over
Completed Assignments
Check to see that
assignments are started and finished on time. Ask to see the assignment
calendar if you are uncertain of the assignments. If you aren't home when the
homework is finished, look it over when you get home.
· Note on Using
Computers
Most families have
personal computers in their home. Computers can be a great learning tool and
helpful for some assignments. However, you do no not have to have a computer
for your child to compete homework assignments successfully. Many children
prefer using a computer to hand writing their work. As a parent, you can guide
your child in making decisions about whether it is appropriate to use the
computer, pointing out considerations such as computer availability (do other
family members need the computer this evening?), time frame (when is this
due?), and status of other pending assignments. For assignments using word
processing, children may also need reminding to always do the typing of the
text first, and then if time remains, then they can change the format, fonts,
colors, graphics, and so on.
· Give Praise
People of all ages respond
to praise. And children need encouragement from the people whose opinions they
value most—their parents. "Good first draft of your book report!" or "You've
done a great job" can go a long way toward motivating your child to complete
assignments.
Children
also need to know when they haven't done their best work. Make criticism
constructive. Instead of telling a third-grader, "You aren't going to hand in
that mess, are you?" try, "The teacher will understand your ideas better if
you use your best handwriting." Then give praise when a neat version is
completed.
How To Help: Monitor
Homework Sessions
· Be Available
Elementary school students
often like to have someone in the same room when working on assignments in
case they have questions. If your child will be cared for by someone else,
talk to that person about what you expect regarding homework. For an older
child, if no one will be around, let him know you want him to begin work
before you get home and call to remind him if necessary.
· Allow Your Child
Some Personal Space During the Homework Session
This
is a big problem for some parents. Parents employing this technique are not
only setting themselves up
for
tremendous frustration and anger, but they are also creating "learned
helplessness."
Many parents will say that
their children cannot work unless they are sitting next to them. It is not
that many children are unable to work, but that they choose not to work. The
work stoppage on the part of children occurs when a parent attempts to break
away and no longer provides them with undivided attention. This "dependency"
is very unhealthy because it is not imitated in the classroom. Consequently,
such children may put off doing their classwork and bring the unfinished work
home. In this way they may gain mom or dad's full attention.
If you are already locked
into this type of situation, you should not break away all at once. You should desensitize
children a little at a time. Sit at the end of the table for a few days.
Then slowly increase the distance between yourself and the child's work until
he or she is working alone. Remember, you can still "be available", yet
provide your child some personal space to develop independence.
· Avoid
Doing or Finishing Assignments For Your Child
Some parents will complete
an entire assignment for their children. While the parents' motivation may be
helping their child finish a difficult assignment, the end result may be very
destructive. Children tend to feel inadequate when a parent finishes homework.
First, they feel a sense of failure. Second, they feel a sense of inadequacy
since they can never hope to do the assignment as well as mom or dad. This can
only foster increased dependency and feelings of helplessness on the part of
children. As children advance through school, our goal is to nurture
independent thinkers who take ownership and responsibility for their own
learning.
· And
Finally - Accept the Challenge
Parents often send a
message that a struggle with a homework assignment is a sign of a problem. We
accept struggle in sports — when a young athlete practices lay-ups for hours,
or drops a sweat-soaked jersey in the washer after a hard game — our response
is usually pride, and "good job." But we seldom respond similarly to an
academic challenge. "I was never very good at math either," we might say,
observing our child encounter difficulties. Even the way we ask about the
homework can imply an expectation that it will, or should, be easy. Instead,
we can ask — conversationally rather than authoritatively — how they're
doing, what they're struggling with, and offer suggestions of how to meet the
challenge of the assignment.