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Instilling a sense of gratitude in your child:
1. Train your children to write thank you notes at an early age. They can
write to teachers, counselors, coaches, anyone who gives them gifts
(including grandparents) or the family friend who takes him to the circus.
2. Notes are important because they demonstrate and instill a higher level
of appreciation. You have to think a lot more about what the person actually
did for you since you want to write more than one line -- you have to fill
the page!. Help your child notice the details.
3. Before bed, ask your child to name two things he or she appreciated
today. (This will work best with younger children; you may get weird looks
if you try this with your teen, but better late than never!) Then you share
two things you appreciated. Be sure to include things the child did, such as
putting something away, asking a good question or waiting patiently for
something. Talking about what you appreciate about each other will help you
build your relationship with your child as well.
4. Have a "Family Appreciation Meeting" at dinner one night a month, perhaps
on a Friday evening. Go around the table and have everyone say one thing he
or she appreciated about each member of the family that month.
5. Be a role model for your children. If you could use a little help in the
appreciation department yourself, then you can't expect your children to be
overflowing with gratitude. Start writing notes and pointing out all the
good that people do for you. Thank the mailman and the garbage men. Say out
loud, "Whatever would we do without the garbage men! Do you know how awful
it would be if they didn't come every week!" Just because someone is paid to
do a job doesn't mean we shouldn't thank them.
6. Help your child see a positive trait in someone he dislikes. Don't do it
in the heat of the moment when he is telling you how much he hates his
teacher. Teach him that everyone has good points to appreciate and that it's
important to consciously look for them.
7. Point out wherever you go all the good that you see people doing: highway
workers who help us have a smooth ride, doctors and dentists who take care
of us, cleaners who get out a nasty stain. There are so many people who help
make life easier and more pleasant for us!
8. People are not naturally appreciative. We can't be annoyed with our
children for being ungrateful if we have not taught them how to get into
the "gratitude attitude".
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