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Let me begin with a few personal notes to the parents of ASFM...
As parents, you have a difficult job. Your child needs support and encouragement. They need
guidance. Your presence and involvement are vital to your child's success.
It's a fine line, though... isn't it? You know that you need to be present and involved. You also know
that your ULTIMATE goal as a parent is to raise children who become independent, capable adults.
They need your guidance, but you also don't want to cross over into doing too much for them. They
must learn to do it themselves. You need to be standing there, right beside them, pushing them
along and cheering for them every step of the way. Cheering for them to do it themselves, with your
encouragement. You are there to answer questions, to give advice... but in the end, particularly
when it comes to choosing a university, it has to be the child's decision.
There will be times when it won't be easy. Usually, those times come when your child makes a
decision that isn't the one you would make, if you were in their position. It's challenging, but unless
there is some serious reason why they shouldn't make that decision, you should probably let him or
her make the decision. Let them learn to deal with the results of their choices, whether those are
positive or negative. If it's positive, then they can be proud of taking those steps on their own, and
you can be proud of them too. If the results are negative, then maybe they'll be more likely to listen
to your suggestions with an open mind next time.
In a short time (maybe one year, maybe more... but not long from now), your child will be
graduating. They will be an adult. They will have successes, and they will make mistakes. With
every step (or misstep), they will learn and grow.
The last thing I'll say here in this personal note... It is a JOY to work with your kids. They are lovely,
talented, bright, wonderful people who have amazing potential to do great things with their lives. I
am thrilled to be a part of it. As I've told some of you in person, you don't get terrific kids like yours
without being terrific parents. You should be very proud.
Please know that I am available to you as well, anytime that you have questions or concerns... but
also know that your child is my 'client' first and foremost. The college and career counseling that I
provide will be guided toward their needs, and toward helping them make their own decisions.
I look forward to working with your amazing kids!
......................................................................................................................................................
The information below on this page comes from http://www.petersons.com.
Visit their site for terrific additional information about planning for college!
COLLEGE PLANNING: RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
HELP YOUR CHILD PREPARE: NINTH GRADE
Your child's grades appear on official transcripts starting this year, so if you haven't already started
doing so, it's time to take stock. If your child has particularly strong academic interests, encourage
them, but don't lose focus on strengthening areas of weakness that can't be ignored, such as English
or algebra.
Your child should also start exploring career goals so that courses can be chosen that will
compliment those goals and serve as good prerequisites for college � this is especially true for
scientific and technical fields. Sit down with your teen and the school's course listings to sketch out a
comprehensive academic program of all the classes your child should take in high school.
Lay out preliminary plans for extracurricular activities as well, allowing flexibility for interests they
may outgrow or new ones they may acquire. As you do this, allow your child's interests to shape the
list!
September/October
1. Get involved
- The initial weeks of high school can be a difficult adjustment, socially and academically.
- Keep an open dialogue about how classes are going.
- If your child is struggling, now's the time to get a handle on it.
2. Help your child explore
- As classes progress, encourage involvement in meaningful activities in and out of school.
- Allow your child to feel out what they're comfortable with and how much time they can dedicate
without impacting schoolwork negatively.
3. Heap on the praise
- Help your child begin keeping an activities record that lists participation in activities as well as
accomplishments, awards, and leadership positions.
January
1. Provide support
- Keep up regular conversations with your child about his or her academic progress.
- Grades should be up to par and course levels appropriate.
- If not, perhaps your child could use your help in establishing better study habits or creating a
better study environment.
* Do they have a quiet place to study without distractions (no phone, TV, instant
messaging, unnecessary computer use, etc.)?
* A set amount of time each night can also help. If they finish their regular homework
before the time is up, they can work ahead, organize their binders, read a book, review
their notes, or study for an upcoming test without waiting for the last minute.
2. Be a motivator
- Develop an improvement plan together if your child is struggling and remember that the best
motivation is encouragement.
3. Remain open to change
- One of the points of high school is for students to explore their interests.
- Determine if your child is enjoying what they're doing, and if any changes need to be made.
- This is also a natural time for kids to make changes in their groups of friends. Monitor these
changes. Usually the reasons are healthy (i.e. their old friends are more into sports now while
your child has become more involved in the drama department, or perhaps they have simply
grown in different directions), but sometimes changes in friendships can indicate other shifts
that may not be healthy (i.e. parties or other activities in which some kids may be participating,
etc.) Keep an eye out, and keep the lines of communication open.
4. Think summer
- You and your child should also start thinking about worthwhile summer plans such as a job,
volunteer work, or traveling.
- Summer is a great time to begin exploring interests that tie in with college or career goals.
May/June
1. Look to the future
- Together, review and evaluate the comprehensive academic program and activities record
started earlier in the school year, make any necessary changes, and update accordingly.
2. Hit the books
- As summer approaches, develop a summer reading list that will help with the academic
transition to 10th grade, and finalize any summer plans that were in development.
HELP YOUR CHILD PREPARE: TENTH GRADE
This is a banner year for most kids. For the most part, the classes your child takes this year will
determine the courses your child will be qualified to take in grades 11 and 12.
It's an important time, since AP and honors classes require prerequisites that your child will need to
be fulfilling this year and next. You and your child should have an open discussion and strategically
map out classes together.
September
1. Get a head start
- It's time to start checking out college fairs and possibly meeting with school representatives
that come to town. Encourage your child to start investigating schools prior to attending the
ASFM college fair (in October). You could help them come up with some good questions to ask
when they talk to University representatives. Still, don't push too hard... let the child take some
initiative and ownership of the process.
January/February
1. Keep talking
- Just as you've been doing all along, make sure that your child's classes seem to be an
appropriate fit.
- If grades are slipping, perhaps the course levels are too high or study habits are poor.
2. Stay active
- Take a look at extracurricular activities as well, not just from the standpoint of whether or not
they're going well, but if they are having a negative impact on your child's studies and need to
be cut back.
3. Consider some testing
- You and your child (and perhaps the school counselor) should discuss SAT Subject Tests and
APs, although many students wait until their junior year.
- May and June are the usual test times and the most common test taken by sophomores is
biology, as it is often a completed subject by this time. If your child has had a good first
semester in biology, they may want to consider signing up to take the SAT II Biology subject
test at the end of the year. Look at the college board website and find out what's on the test, to
see if they might want to try it out.
April
1. Break out the sunscreen
- Summer is coming up again, and your child should be considering what options are best for his
summer plans.
- Vacations are nice, but so is earning money or enhancing one's transcript with a summer camp
or program!
2. Check the schedule
- If your child needs to, he or she should register for June SAT Subject Tests now.
May/June
1. Plan for the coming school year
- Testing aside, gently oversee registration for next fall's classes and activities.
- Urge your child to select (or continue) the most challenging classes possible for them, and to
participate in community service activities.
- Finalize any summer plans, and, just as you did last year, devise a summer reading list together
that will help the transition into junior year.
Summer
1. Make the break a productive one
- Your child should have a job or be participating in constructive activities throughout the
summer.
- Summer study, jobs, and volunteer work always rate high with admission officials.
- Many universities have great summer programs for kids. This is a good way to 'kill two birds
with one stone' by participating in a cool program AND visiting a college campus.
- If your child has a career goal in mind, see if you can help arrange a day where he or she can
'shadow' someone who works in that field.
2. Do some early research
- The Web provides good college entrance information, as well as online applications to many
institutions.
- Summer is a great time for you and your child to check out some of the sites and bookmark
your favorites.
HELP YOUR CHILD PREPARE: ELEVENTH GRADE
This year the college search process begins in earnest. The combined exploration of the past two
years along with your child's testing should help with developing a list of target schools by spring.
Poor grades will not be as easily forgiven as they were in previous years, and colleges will look for
commitment and accomplishment outside of the classroom.
Just as you've been doing all along, help your child stay on top of things and continue to provide
support and encouragement � and constructive criticism, if needed.
September
1. Kick it up a notch
- Particularly if your child has US citizenship or is a US permanent resident, make sure your child
registers for the October PSAT. This is the qualifying test for the National Merit Scholarship
program (US citizens & permanent residents only) and great practice for the SAT, even if your
child can't qualify for the scholarships.
2. Go to the fair
-Check into college fairs and college representative visits to the school. (The school counselor
should have a schedule.)
- Encourage your child to attend and to start becoming very familiar with the college resources
available at school.
- An important note for US Citizens and permanent residents: If you haven't done so yet, get a
Social Security number for your child.
October/November
1. Keep driving the bus
- If your child is taking the PSAT, make sure the date is in big bold letters on the family calendar.
- Diplomatically remind your child to read the Student Bulletin and to try some practice questions.
- Try to refrain from grilling your beloved offspring about how he or she thinks they did as soon
as the test is over. Plan a not-test-related treat instead.
2. Get out of town
- Schedule a short trip (long weekends are a perfect time!) to visit nearby colleges.
- Don't worry if these are places where your child won't apply. The goal is to explore different
types of schools.
- Aim for variety. Discuss which characteristics of schools are attractive and which aren't.
December
1. Get ready to buckle down
- If you have questions about PSAT scores, contact your child's guidance counselor and, if
necessary, discuss strategies for improving weak areas for the SAT.
- This is a big year for college admission tests. Look into prep options for the SAT, ACT, and AP.
2. Look to the future
- Start informal brainstorming with your child about possible target colleges, with their test
results in mind.
- If you or any of your acquaintances have a college student at home for the winter break, ask
them questions and encourage your child to do so as well.
3. Start thinking dollars and cents
- Take an introductory look at financial aid forms just to see what you'll be doing at this time
next year.
January
1. Keep up communication
- How's school going this year? Since classes are probably tougher than ever, continue to evaluate
your child's academic progress. Does everything seem to be going alright? What does your child
need if he or she is struggling?
2. Dream about summer
- Start making initial summer plans for working, studying, volunteering, etc.
- Try to make sure your child is involved in something that they are passionate about, and that
looks good on a college application. This should be a growth opportunity for your child.
February
1. Check the schedule
- Look ahead to SAT or ACT registration deadlines. There may be one coming up quickly since
some juniors take the SAT in March, which isn't a bad idea. Heed the February registration
deadlines, and keep in mind that late registrations involve extra fees.
March
1. Plan, prepare, and plan some more
- Consider and plan spring vacation college visits. (Taking one week out of Semana Santa to visit
colleges would be time and money VERY well spent.) Hopefully, your child's spring break
WON'T coincide with college breaks, so you can see some students and really get a gander at
college life when you visit.
2. Get organized
- Have your son or daughter start a "College Binder" by making an early list of target colleges in a
notebook.
- Visits to college Web sites should increase and he or she should begin calling, writing, or e-
mailing target colleges to request publications. Set aside an area where all the marketing
materials can be organized and be easily referenced.
3. Remember those tests
- If you didn't do it last month, check upcoming SAT or ACT registration deadlines for tests your
child still needs to take. Is there one on the horizon? Make note of the test and registration
dates on your calendar.
- If AP tests are coming up, make sure your child discusses plans to take exams with teachers
and/or the guidance counselor, as needed.
4. Make plans
- Discuss the lineup for senior-year classes. Urge your child to take the most challenging courses
possible (in which they can perform well).
- Both you and your child should recognize that colleges weigh 12th grade classes and grades as
heavily as the 11th grade record.
April
1. Double-check
- Does your child still need to take the SAT or ACT? Check for registration deadlines and
upcoming test dates. If it hasn't already been done, have your child update his or her activities
record.
May
1. Prepping for tests
- Does your child still need to get the SAT and/or ACT out of the way? (And yes, we will remind
you every month until it's done!) Make sure no deadlines or test dates are being overlooked.
- If your child needs to take the TOEFL as well, check the test dates and help your child get
registered.
2. Explore some options
- Assess the need for and affordability of special services, such as standardized test prep
courses, independent college counselors, and private group tour programs.
June
1. Double-check�again
- Make sure your child is registered for anything that still needs to be done. As always, if your
child has a test coming up, mark the test and registration dates on the family calendar.
2. Think scholarships
- Take advantage of the summer slow-down by visiting scholarship search and financial aid Web
sites with your child, or by checking out comparable library resources.
Summer
1. Don't slow down
- By now, your child should be accustomed to setting summers aside for employment or some
other constructive activities. These are the types of activities that sit well with admission
officials. This is also a good time to take some summer visits and plan fall college visits.
2. Work on your child's list
- Keep your child on track with test preparation, if needed. He or she should continue requesting
college publications.
- They should also begin planning, if not executing, any supplemental submissions that will be
needed, such as audition tapes or art slides or portfolios. Review and update the list of target
schools that you and your child have been developing, adding the pros and cons of each school.
HELP YOUR CHILD PREPARE: TWELFTH GRADE
Phew! This year, the college search kicks up a notch and will sometimes feel like a full-time job �
with all of the toil, tedium, and triumphs that come with it. But this is the home stretch for both you
and your future college graduate. It might be a lot of work, but it's a labor of love!
September
1. Take a moment with your child
- Start the year off right by planning an evening out (perhaps dinner at a favorite restaurant) with
your college-bound child. Go over your strategy for the school year. Discuss plans and goals
and review your child's list of target schools. Also discuss plans to attend college fairs and meet
with any college reps who may be coming to the school. (The school guidance office will have a
schedule.) Go over which college sites have been visited and which ones haven't. Finalize plans
for visits. If it all seems overwhelming, reassure your child (over dessert!) that you'll be there to
support them every step of the way.
2. Attend college night in September!
3. Start the application process
- Does your child still need to take the ACT or SAT? Find out the dates and get them registered!
October
1. Make a decision on early decision
- Go over options for early decision and early action and determine if it's an option you and your
child want to pursue. (If your child isn't 100% sure about their first choice college, Early
Decision is not a good idea.)
- Help your child draw up a master schedule of application and financial aid due dates, and put
them on the family calendar.
2. Move them in the "write" direction
- Monitor the start of applications and encourage your child to mull over various essay topics to
determine if any can be overlapped to reduce the workload. (Seniors will actually do a college
essay unit in their English classes, which helps a lot!)
- Your child should also start requesting teacher recommendations now; that way, they'll be done
well in advance of any deadlines. (The counselor has more information about this.)
3. Hit the road
- Start making college visits, and schedule any interviews that can be completed on campus or
with college alumni.
4. Attend college fairs, gather more information, and take a little time to laugh about the process by
renting a good comedy and taking a night off!
5. Think dollars and cents
- Certain colleges require a supplemental financial aid form, known as the CSS/PROFILE. This has
an earlier deadline than the FAFSA. Check the schools to which your child is applying to find out
if you'll need to complete this form in addition to the FAFSA.
November
1. Nag (but only a little bit... it's THEIR responsibility to get it done!)
- Now is a good time to start giving your teen 'friendly reminders' about application
deadlines.
- Narrow your college list to those schools to which applications will be sent.
- Try to use time over the Thanksgiving break to get in a campus visit.
- As your child starts working on (or completing) applications, offer to proofread and provide
constructive criticism. Remember, they have to do the work... but you are there to offer
support and suggestions as needed.
2. The counselor will give deadlines for mailing application materials this month.
- Keep an eye on the website for information.
- Be aware that we offer a lovely (but relatively unususal) service at ASFM. If your child meets the
counselor's deadlines for the application process, then the counselor will actually do a lot of the
work for you. You pay postage, your child addresses the envelopes and gives us their
paperwork, and we do most of the rest of the work including gathering transcripts, letters of
recommendation, etc. and making sure that everything is in the right envelopes and mailed
from the US.
- If you don't meet the counselor's deadlines, you are on your own.
December
1. Start coordinating paperwork
- If your child plans to have another go at the SAT or ACT, make sure they register. The January
sitting (February for ACT) is their absolute last chance.
2. Keep an eye on the calendar
- Get your federal financial aid forms (FAFSA) from the guidance office or the Web and attend
workshops if there any available.
- Leave gentle reminders about any January or February application deadlines and have your child
confirm that teachers and guidance staff are up-to-date with reference forms. Also make sure
that transcripts are being sent to all short-list colleges (this is all IF you didn't meet that January
counselor's deadline.)
3. Celebrate early
- Usher in the New Year with a family toast to the future, whatever it may bring.
January
1. Remember "parent" deadlines
- If you have everything you need, file your US income taxes (if you file in the US) and begin filling
out financial aid forms, such as the FAFSA.
- Finish and mail these forms as soon as possible � and never late!
- Keep in mind that many schools list earlier FAFSA filing dates than that which is listed on the
form itself. Check the college's website for those deadlines.
2. Encourage your child to finish up applications, if they haven't already done so.
- Encourage your child to complete all of his or her applications, even those with later deadlines.
- Make copies of everything and save them!
3. If SATs are being taken this month, find out if "rush" scores are required for any of your child's
choice schools.
4. Congrats!
- When the last application hits the mailbox, CELEBRATE!
February
1. Follow up
- Unless confirmations have arrived, your child should consult colleges by phone or online to
check the status of applications. They should keep track of who they speak with and find out if
there are any materials that still need to be sent in.
- Know that colleges have a LOT of paperwork to process at this time. Sometimes things get lost,
even if they were sent. Often times, if a college is missing a piece of information that is needed
to complete the student's application file, they will contact the counselor. We will fax the
information to them immediately if anything like this happens.
March
1. Work through the waiting game
- After nearly four years, the wait is nearly over! There may be some decision letters arriving this
month and, hopefully, they will bring great news.
April
1. Stay cool
- Resist the urge to open letters addressed to your child. (Though holding them up to the light is
an option. Hahaha.)
- Also, don't despair when thin envelopes show up � that doesn't always mean it's a rejection
letter!!! Some schools send out enrollment forms later.
2. Remain supportive
- If your child is accepted, cheer and applaud!
- If a rejection letter arrives, try to put things in perspective with a comment like "It's an
extremely competitive college and your math test scores may have hurt." (Don't say something
like "The admission folks at that school seemed like a bunch of Bozos from the get-go." Even if
that's what you think!)
3. Take a second look
- Compare financial aid offers and contact financial aid offices with any questions.
- If you feel you need to, appeal the awards. (This is if you feel that some error has been made. I
do not recommend 'negotiating' with colleges, i.e. asking them to match an offer that another
school has made. This is not likely to get you anywhere at all.)
- Plan crunch-time visits to campuses, as needed, to help with the big decision: which school to
attend.
4. Follow up if your child is placed on the wait list.
- Was your child placed on a waitlist? Make sure to return any waitlist cards and follow up with
the admission offices regularly. Send updated records and other information, if available.
- Encourage your child to write an upbeat "Please take me, and this is why you should" letter. It
may make a difference.
5. Take a deep breath
- If you and your child have made a final decision about which school to attend, then
congratulations!
- Now, make sure you send in any required deposit. Be sure not to procrastinate and miss the
May 1 deadline or your child may lose their spot to some other hopeful student.
- DO NOT put down deposits at two schools. It is considered highly unethical and could even
result in a student's offer of admission being revoked! Your child needs to make a decision
now. They can't possibly attend more than one school, so it's time to choose.
- Last but not least, your child needs to notify the schools that weren't chosen. Thank them, and
let them know that they won't be attending, particularly if an aid offer was made. This is an
important step in the process. Keep in mind that there could be a student somewhere, waiting
to find out if they got off the wait list at that school. A letter from your child could mean that
another child's dream comes true.
May
1. Polish off the details
- Make sure your child takes any needed AP exams.
- Remember P's and Q's
2. If you get off the waiting list...
- If you put down a deposit at College B (your second choice, where you were offered admission),
but remain on the waiting list at College A (your first choice) that is fine.
- If College A contacts your child to say that they've been moved off the waiting list and are
admitted, then you have a few things you need to do right away, assuming that the financial aid
is all there and they have decided that College A is the place they will be going.
* Dance around the living room with your son or daughter.
* Send the deposit right away.
* Contact College B to tell them that you will not be attending after all. Keep in mind that if
you skip this step, you may be charged for tuition and fees in the fall. They think your
child is on their way. If you don't tell them about the change in plans, there will be
problems.
3. Encourage your child to write a thank you note to anyone who may have been especially helpful in
the college-planning process.
- Guidance counselors are often unsung heroes, as are teachers who write recommendations,
scholarship agencies, admission counselors, financial aid officers, secretaries, tours guides, or
other students. Of course this isn't obligatory, but recipients are sure to be pleasantly
surprised.
4. Buy some extra-long sheets!
- Stay on top of housing plans in case there are any forms that need to be returned. You and
your child may also consider alternatives to the dorms, if there are any. Find out the dates for
freshman orientation, as some schools have them in spring or summer. And of course, make
sure your child knows when course registration is.
June
1. Play the waiting game
- You and your child may both be a little jumpy around mail-delivery time each day. Keep your
eye out for "the envelope," but also keep your cool. If, for some reason, you need to explore
some alternative college options, check out our list of schools with late & rolling deadlines.
2. Give your child (and yourself!) a pat on the back
- Help your child organize a file to keep track of summer mailings from the college. Categories
might include orientation, housing, course registration, and finances.
3. Attend to the details
- Your child may want to consider summer courses to accelerate or place out of required courses,
but make sure the college has confirmed that it will accept the credits.
- Also have your child confirm that the high school has forwarded a final transcript to the college.
Ready�set�go!
1. On a less stressful note, take your child shopping for supplies and dorm d�cor.
2. Don't forget about suitcases for packing clothes!
3. Give yourself some well-deserved credit
4. After everything is done, sit down and have a good cry while you go back over all the
masterpieces
your child has created over the years. And remember, this is a good thing and you've done a
GREAT JOB!
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