Planet Garner

Who was a better vampire, Jackson or Edward? I'm going with Jackson. He has a cape. I also challenge anyone to show me a photograph of Andrew Jackson. Everyone knows that Vampires can't be photographed because they have no souls.

John Brown could have made a killing as a professional basketball player, or maybe as a guy who washes the tops of cars and SUVs. Usually you need a brush to do that but he could just reach down with a sponge.

In addition to being one of (if not the) greatest President in American History, Abraham Lincoln was also an accomplished Vampire killer. This obviously put him in direct conflict with Jackson and eventually led to a confrontation in October of 1860. The outcome of this conflict tipped the balance of power away from the pro-vampire south and secured Lincoln's election as President of the United States.

Yes, its true. The guy you should associate with the Square Deal, also has square teeth. Its just a coincidence but it does make you wonder whether there's some sort of universal cosmic balance that makes things work out. I seriously doubt that he filed his teeth down to help us remember his domestic agenda.

It is a little known fact that Elvis and Nixon were BFF's. Whenever Nixon was feeling down, Elvis was always there to offer words of encouragement. Expecially after Nixon lost the 1960 election to JFK.