1. How do you get a guitarist to turn down his amp?
2. Who are the players in a string quartet?
3. Why did the violist hang her instrument from the rear view mirror of her car?
4. Why are violins smaller than violas?
5. Why are a violinist's fingers like lightning?
6. What's the definition of a minor second?
7. How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car?
8. What's the difference between violists and terrorists?
9. How does a soprano change a lightbulb?
10. How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?

How do you get a guitarist to turn down his amp?

Put sheet music in front of him & tell him to sight read.

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Who are the players in a string quartet?

1 good violinist, 1 bad violinist, 1 former violinist and someone who hates
the violin completely.

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Why did the violist hang her instrument from the rear view mirror of her car?

so she could park in the handicapped space.

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Why are violins smaller than violas?

They really are the same size, but the violinists' heads are bigger.

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Why are a violinist's fingers like lightning?

they rarely strike the same place twice

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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two oboists playing unison.

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How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car?

take the Domino's sign off the roof.

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What's the difference between violists and terrorists?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

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How does a soprano change a lightbulb?

She just holds on and the world revolves around her.

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How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?

None; they can't get up that high.

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