Home-School Conferences - A Guide for = Parents

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NASP=20 Home > NASP=20 Resources > Parent-Teacher=20 Conferences =

Home-School Conferences - A Guide for Parents

By Andrea Canter, PhD, NCSP
Minneapolis Public = Schools

Home and school=E2=80=94everyone shares the goal of helping = children learn and=20 feel successful. Research has proven that when parents and = teachers work=20 together, everyone benefits: Students tend to earn higher grades, = perform=20 better on tests, attend school more regularly, have better = behavior, and=20 show more positive attitudes toward themselves and toward school. = School=20 programs that include strong parent involvement are more = effective. Yet,=20 collaboration between parents and teachers is not always a smooth=20 process.

Establishing an effective home-school partnership requires = efforts from=20 both teachers and parents to create a trusting, equitable = relationship.=20 Sometimes parents must first deal with their own discomfort with = schools=20 and teachers. If parents have experienced difficulty in school, = then they=20 may have to overcome negative feelings that carry over from their = own=20 childhood. If parents are new to the community, come from another = culture,=20 or do not speak fluent English, then they may feel overwhelmed by = the=20 prospect of attending a conference with their child=E2=80=99s = teacher or=20 participating in a Family Night or School Open House.

Try not to worry or be afraid of a conference with your = child=E2=80=99s=20 teacher. Even if you have talked frequently with school personnel = about=20 your child=E2=80=99s failing grades or misbehavior, a conference = may be an=20 opportunity to start a cooperative partnership with teachers.

Preparing for the Parent-Teacher Conference

At least once per year, and frequently each semester (or more = often),=20 you will receive a notice of a parent-teacher conference. Perhaps = you have=20 requested the conference yourself. There are many steps you can = take to=20 assure that the conference is productive and positive:

Assemble relevant materials. Gather appropriate = materials to=20 help prepare for the conference. This can include records from = previous=20 schools and school years, such as report cards, test scores, = immunization=20 and other health records, and past and current correspondence = between home=20 and school.

Review these materials. Make sure you have gathered = all the=20 material you need. If anything important is missing, such as a = report from=20 your family physician, try to locate it and add to your file. As a = tip,=20 once you have started a collection of your child=E2=80=99s = records, it is easy to=20 add new material each year. At conference time, if you or the = teacher has=20 specific concerns, you can then find whatever might be important = to share=20 with the teacher.

Talk with your child before the conference. Children = should=20 understand why the conference is taking place (is it due to a = problem or=20 is it a routine meeting held for all parents) and be assured that = parents=20 are seeking ways to help and learn about what their children are = doing in=20 school. Find out if your child has any specific concerns about = schoolwork=20 or relationships with classmates.

Acquire the handbook for students. If your district, = school,=20 or classroom has a handbook for students, be sure to obtain a copy = well=20 ahead of the conference and review it. In particular look for = listings of=20 expectations for behavior and attendance so that you might = anticipate what=20 questions the teacher may ask of you. Also, try to assemble a list = of=20 questions you may want to ask the teacher if you are unsure of = material in=20 the handbook.

Be familiar with your child=E2=80=99s homework = assignments. If your=20 child has homework be familiar with the assignments and how your = child has=20 been performing. Is the work getting done? Does your child seem to = understand the assignments? Does the work seem too easy or too=20 difficult?

Prepare a list of questions you want to ask your = child=E2=80=99s=20 teacher. Is my child meeting expectations for learning and = behavior?=20 How has my child performed on daily class assignments, on tests, = on=20 homework assignments? How does my child compare to others in basic = skills?=20 Does my child follow school rules or does my child exhibit any = behavior=20 problems? If my child is struggling in any area, what has been = tried to=20 improve performance? Does my child pay attention in class? What = else can=20 be done at home or at school? What are my child=E2=80=99s = strengths? Are there any=20 concerns about my child=E2=80=99s health, or adjustment? Are there = materials or=20 resources that you would recommend? How does my child get along = with other=20 students?

Referral to special education. If you or the teacher = have=20 concerns about referral to special education, find out about your = rights=20 ahead of time. State and community agencies and advocate = organizations can=20 provide this information, and all schools should also have a = printed copy=20 of parents=E2=80=99 rights under state and federal law.

Be ready to collaborate. Generally, teachers will give = parents=20 bad news because they want to help the child do better and not to = place=20 blame on the parent or child. But sometimes the message does not = come=20 across that way, and parents naturally become defensive and = protective,=20 maybe even angry. Assume the teacher has your child=E2=80=99s best = interests in=20 mind, and respond calmly and tactfully. Indicate that you are most = concerned with solving the problem and helping your child succeed. = Offer=20 to meet further to discuss the problem and to work out a solution. = Remember that teachers are often as afraid to deliver bad news as = parents=20 are to hear it.

During the Conference

Listen carefully. It is perfectly acceptable to take = notes.=20 This is particularly helpful if one parent or other involved = relative=20 cannot attend. It can also help you remember details so that you = can ask=20 questions later.

Offer your perspective. Many times teachers will ask = you about=20 your child=E2=80=99s activities at home and your views of your = child=E2=80=99s strengths=20 and areas where help might be needed. Even if the teacher does not = ask,=20 speak up and provide your observations and any concerns.

You want to hear good news about your child. If the = teacher=20 does not offer any positive comments, ask directly, =E2=80=9CWhat = does my child do=20 well?=E2=80=9D And remember that teachers often hear only negative = comments, too.=20 Be sure to try to offer a compliment, a thank you to let the = teacher know=20 you appreciate what they are trying to do to help your = child=E2=80=94even when=20 what the teacher is trying to do may not be working.

Do not be afraid to ask questions. If you do not = understand=20 something or feel your concerns are not being addressed, then ask = the=20 teacher. Teachers and other educators easily slip into jargon and = forget=20 that many parents are not familiar with the terms they use every = day. Ask=20 what test scores mean and what the results mean for your child. = Stop and=20 ask for explanation of unfamiliar terms or programs. Not = understanding can=20 quickly lead to misunderstanding.

Resources

Clark, L. (1996). SOS: Help for parents (2nd ed.). Berkeley, = CA:=20 Parents Press. ISBN: 0935111204.

Lansky, V. (n.d.). Preparing for a parent-teacher conference.=20 ParentTalk Newsletter of the National Parenting Center. Available: = www.tnpc.co= m/parentalk/preteens/pretee25.html

Levine, M. E. (1994). Educational care: A system for = understanding and=20 helping children with learning problems at home and in school (2nd = ed.).=20 Cambridge, MA: Educators Publishing Service. ISBN: 0838819877.

Rimm, S. (1996). Dr. Sylvia Rimm=E2=80=99s smart parenting: How = to raise a=20 happy, achieving child. New York: Crown. ASIN: 0517700638.

Website

Parent Advocacy Coalition for Education Rights = (PACER)=E2=80=94http://www.pacer.org/

The National Parenting Center=E2=80=94http://www.tnpc.com/

Andrea Canter, PhD, NCSP, is a school psychologist in the=20 Minneapolis Public Schools and is Editor of the NASP = Communiqu=C3=A9=20 and consultant for special projects for NASP. This handout is = based on an=20 article provided by NASP to the Teachers First website for posting = in=20 October 2002.