Positive Parenting Tips for
Healthy Child Development
Middle Childhood (9 - 12 years old)
Developmental Milestones:
Your child’s growing independence from the family and interest in friends
might be obvious by now. Healthy friendships are very important to your
child’s development, but peer pressure can become strong during this time.
Children who feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer
pressure and make better choices for themselves. This is an important time
for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing
independence. Also, physical changes of puberty might be showing by now,
especially for girls. Another big change children need to prepare for during
this time is starting middle or junior high school.
During this time, your child might:
Form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes
more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex.
Experience more peer pressure.
Become more independent from the family.
Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches. Body image and
eating problems sometimes start around this age. For information on healthy
eating and exercise for children and teenagers, visit
http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/index.html.
Face more academic challenges at school.
(Adapted with permission from Bright Futures: Green M, Palfrey JS, editors.
Bright Futures Family Tip Sheets: Middle childhood. Arlington (VA): National
Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health; 2001.)
For more information, visit the American Academy of Pediatrics Developmental
Stages website at http://aap.org/healthtopics/stages.cfm.
Positive Parenting:
You can help your child become independent, while building his or her sense
of responsibility and self-confidence at the same time. Here are some
suggestions:
Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her
accomplishments, and what challenges she will face.
Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your
child’s teachers.
Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a team
sport, or to take advantage of volunteer opportunities.
Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with
him about risky things friends may pressure him to do, like smoking or
dangerous physical dares.
Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in
household tasks. Talk to your child about saving and spending money wisely.
Meet the families of your child’s friends.
Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage your child to help
people in need. Talk with him or her about what to do when others are not
kind or are disrespectful.
Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and
abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.
Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk to your child about what you
expect from her when no adults are supervising. If you provide reasons for
rules, it will help your child to know what to do in those situations.
Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to
make him feel badly about himself.
Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of
puberty.
Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with her about her homework.
Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a
family.
Child Safety First:
More independence and less adult supervision can put children at risk for
injuries from falls and other accidents. Motor vehicle crashes are the most
common cause of death from unintentional injury among children of this age.
Protect your child in the car. All children younger than 12 years of age
should ride in the back seat with a seat belt properly fastened. Children
should ride in a car seat or booster seat until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall
(because adult seat belts do not fit people under this height). Visit the
National Highway Traffic Safety Administration
(http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/people/injury/childps/newtips/index.htm) for more
information.
Know where your child is and whether an adult is present. Make plans with
your child for when he will call you,where you can find him, and what time
you expect him home.
Many children get home from school before their parents get home from work.
It is important to have clear rules and plans for your child when she is home
alone. Visit KidsHealth: When It’s Just You After School
(http://kidshealth.org/kid/watch/house/homealone.html) for safety tips for
your child at home when you can’t be there.
Links for Parents:
CDC’s Healthy Youth! webpage
(http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyYouth/healthtopics/index.htm) has information
about six kinds of health behavior that contribute to the leading causes of
death and disability for teenagers and adults. Other important issues
affecting children and teenagers are also addressed.
KidsHealth (http://kidshealth.org/index.html) by the Nemours Foundation has
very useful information for parents, teens,and kids.
Talk With Your Kids (http://www.talkwithkids.org/) is a national initiative
by Children Now (http://www.childrennow.org/) and the Kaiser Family
Foundation (http://www.kff.org/) to encourage parents to talk with their
children early and often about tough issues like sex, HIV/AIDS, violence, and
alcohol and drug abuse.
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration
(http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/people/injury/childps/newtips/index.htm) has
information on safety recalls, and safety tips for children riding in motor
vehicles, walking, biking,playing outside, waiting at school bus stops, and
more.