Classroom Discipline: Don't Ask Why

By Diane Trim

Teens are impulsive. That spontaneity is part of their charm. And it's part of the problem, too. Picture this: Nick sees a cute girl downstairs by the lockers. He thinks that he can impress her if he jumps over the stair rail from the upstairs landing to the commons below. Not impressive, Nick, when the paramedics have to haul you to the clinic for a cast. My first instinct is to ask Nick, "Why did you do this? Why did you think this was a good idea?" The why is not productive. It's likely that Nick doesn't remember why he thought it was a smart thing to do, now that he can't play baseball this spring. Students misbehave or make poor choices for many reasons:

• Desire to impress someone
• Not enough sleep
• Trouble or conflict with another student
• Girlfriend problems
• Boyfriend problems
• The lesson isn't difficult enough
• The lesson is too challenging
• The lesson doesn't seem relevant to life or goals
• It's the week before spring/summer/winter/Thanksgiving break
• It's Homecoming week, the night of the big game, the day before the dance
• Feeling threatened or embarrassed
• Headache, stomach ache, hunger
• Rebelling against authority
• Home life is troubled

The why really isn't important when it comes to a solution. Often discussing the why with a student can make her feel cornered. The teen tries to justify something that isn't justifiable and becomes defensive. The why then becomes a power struggle. It's more productive to ask the what questions.

• What happened?
• What should have happened?
• What can you do to fix it?
• What do you think would be an appropriate consequence?

The answers to these what questions are factual, not accusatory. They lead to solutions, not power struggles. Best of all, the student learns what behavior would have been appropriate in the situation. The why? Well, I can tell you why the behavior happened without even asking the student. Teens are impulsive. It's part of their charm.