Top Ten Tips for Flunking A.P. Calculus
(with style)
1. Sit in the back of the classroom.
This will immediately indicate a lack of interest in the class,
but what are the chances that the instructor will notice?
2. Don't take notes.
Convince yourself that you can remember everything that is
discussed in class.
Notes are for dummies.
3. Don't do the daily homework assignments.
You don't need to practice the lesson for the day. You can just wait
until the day before the test to figure it out.
4. If you ignore #3 and do the homework, don't check your answers in the
back of the book.
That just takes time, and besides, that's what teachers are for.
5. Cram for tests.
Just wait until the night before to study for a test don't study
each night.
6. Stay up late the night before a test or exam.
You don't need sleep or to be able to think clearly. Besides, that
late night movie may not be on TV again for another two weeks, but
there will always be another calculus class.
7. Don't come for help after school.
This is only for flunkies. These will cut into your prime time.
Don't let your classmates think you don't have something better to
do!
8. Memorize! Memorize! Memorize!
Don't try to understand anything, just memorize it.
9. Catch up on your sleep during class (or talk to friends so that you will
stay awake).
What are the chances that the instructor will say anything important
anyway?
10. After missing a class, be certain to ask the instructor, "Did we do
anything important?" or "Did I miss anything?"
This will show the instructor exactly what you think of her class.
